tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post116365550205422924..comments2023-10-26T03:26:53.959-07:00Comments on Suebob's Red Stapler: Not like the other kidsSUEB0Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16301963922769609715noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1164576345572023822006-11-26T13:25:00.000-08:002006-11-26T13:25:00.000-08:00Suebob --I was going to thank you for this lovely ...Suebob --<BR/><BR/>I was going to thank you for this lovely shout-out privately, but I couldn't find an e-mail address! Thank you for your kind words. You're pretty charming yourself, so I consider these words coming from you the highest compliment.<BR/><BR/>Yes, I've decided not to take her teacher's thoughts to seriously on this matter. Alex is a pretty great kid, and definitely a very happy one, so unless she starts showing signs of loneliness, I think I'm just going to keep doing what I'm doing.<BR/><BR/>Again, thanks very much for continuing the conversation here, and thanks to all of your commenters for sharing their thoughts. It's all great learning for me!<BR/><BR/>K.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163807387757979522006-11-17T15:49:00.000-08:002006-11-17T15:49:00.000-08:00Dude, we were separeated at birth!Dude, we were separeated at birth!jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13422462308023065350noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163806545324680602006-11-17T15:35:00.000-08:002006-11-17T15:35:00.000-08:00I was tested, noshowmo. They claimed there was no...I was tested, noshowmo. They claimed there was not enough room for more people, and that I was on the border of acceptance, so they would not make a new seat. Inevitably, some rich kid would then move in and a seat would be added for him/her. Finally in 7th grade, I exploded when I was left out of a gifted program for social studies (my forte), and my parents called the school to complain for real. Then they backtracked and pretended they intended to include me all along. I think that was another class issue - my parents were not as aggressive as the wealthier ones.Suzannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16279999850117456433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163805696877367642006-11-17T15:21:00.000-08:002006-11-17T15:21:00.000-08:00I came back to read the new comments today and rea...I came back to read the new comments today and realized I was kind of rambling in a strange way!<BR/>Note to self: don't comment on blogs after you've pulled an all nighter.<BR/><BR/>I should have just stuck with something like "Your post is very thought provoking!"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163730138528300212006-11-16T18:22:00.000-08:002006-11-16T18:22:00.000-08:00Pretty much the same thing. I despise my classmat...Pretty much the same thing. I despise my classmates because I cannot help but be bored to tears by most of them. The few who I do like are very special, unique, intelligent people.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163727320095117792006-11-16T17:35:00.000-08:002006-11-16T17:35:00.000-08:00I am so going to BlogHer next year.This is the sam...I am so going to BlogHer next year.<BR/><BR/>This is the same for me. And, this is why I read so much as a child, and still do. I don't (and didn't) like people that I feel (felt) are below me intelligence-wise. This is also why I don't watch tv. Then and now, I thought society was going in a downward spiral as people kept quoting the idiots from the idiot box, which were modeled after "real" people.super deshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04347176046518919059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163718903675048702006-11-16T15:15:00.000-08:002006-11-16T15:15:00.000-08:00I agree with your point that everyone shouldn't be...I agree with your point that everyone shouldn't be the same, and people with unusual qualities shouldn't have to act and think like others. Reminded me of that short story by Vonnegut, Harrison Bergeron.<BR/><BR/>Something in me rankles a little though, whenever talk of intellectual differences comes into a conversation. When it comes to placing value on intellect, I get wary.<BR/><BR/>Begin tangent. Not that you did that exactly. And certainly there are times when a high IQ comes in handy. But our culture devalues the slow and the old and the non-technical. We're just ratcheting the pace of our lives and the amount of information we process more and more and more. It's that post-industrial post-modern thinking that makes us believe it when someone says we only use 20% of our brains, which is only a part of the truth. How much of our bodies are we using? The concept of balance is so out of whack. End tangent.<BR/><BR/>When I was a kid I learned that adults didn't know much more than we did, so they weren't to be fully trusted. The criticism of others has never really stung as much as it would if it came from myself. I learned when I was young that I didn't care that much what other people thought. I developed some values and stuck to them, mostly, because I cared a lot about what I thought of myself. I liked spending time alone, but I also liked playing with kids.<BR/><BR/>My brother and I were both asked to join gifted programs as kids (and we were poor). I said hell no, mostly because I thought it would be an infringement on my personal space (probably due to my asperger's syndrome). My brother joined. Our older sister was considered average but she had a very strong social drive. No one ever expected much of her except that she fit in.<BR/><BR/>My little brother was born a sickly genius and during our childhoods he had poor social skills. He definitely suffered because of this. Later, he went to UC Berkeley and triple majored in Physics, Rhetoric & Philosophy. When he got there he realized for the first time he wasn't the smartest kid in the universe. It was a huge comedown for him, but also the beginning of his socialization. He decided to become the social organizer for his dorm and he took ballroom dancing and debate/public speaking classes every semester while he was there. He was a late but beautiful bloomer.<BR/><BR/>He and I are both happy and doing well in our lives. But my older sister who always tried to fit in and please others has had a tougher time of it. I wish she had been challenged more and earlier to be her own person.<BR/><BR/>I agree with you that we ought to allow kids to develop and grow and socialize more naturally. They need to have lots of practice affirming themselves, no matter their intelligence. Because let's face it, kids find their own life balance, in their own time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163704597113713232006-11-16T11:16:00.000-08:002006-11-16T11:16:00.000-08:00I have tremendous respect for teachers, but they a...I have tremendous respect for teachers, but they are just people, too. Because I was addicted to Sesame Street as a child, I learned to read at 3. In kindergarten, the teacher would have <I>me</I> read to the class at story time so the teacher could have a break and get some work done. I don't remember social repercussions from it, but if there weren't any, it was just pure luck.<BR/><BR/>My sister and I grew up in a trailer park outside DC, but were bussed to a different school for the gifted program. Our school friends were the children of Congressmen, our after-school and summer playmates were poor, and everyone resented us. We had to learn at a very young age how to get along with ALL facets of society. We never really fit in anywhere until we adapted ourselves to fit in everywhere. It took years, and a lot of pain. In the meantime, books were our lifeline.<BR/><BR/>Suzanne, I can't believe you were left out of gifted programs for class reasons! That's horrible! They didn't test you? I was lucky to be in a school district that went strictly by testing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163700360631804632006-11-16T10:06:00.000-08:002006-11-16T10:06:00.000-08:00I think I was one of those kids. I didn't have an...I think I was one of those kids. I didn't have any older siblings or parents who would tolerate a child hanging out with the adults, so I read. Incessantly. Books were how I escaped the dull kids in my neighbourhood, where I got to "listen" to people with opinions and interesting ideas, who didn't patronize the 8 year-old. <BR/><BR/>I'm still that way today. It drives my husband crazy. He always wants me to go out and "make some friends." I actually have had a post brewing about this for a few days, but I've been sidetracked.Major Bedheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17669161302510096751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163700011576333062006-11-16T10:00:00.000-08:002006-11-16T10:00:00.000-08:00Karen is amazing. I've been reading her for quite ...Karen is amazing. I've been reading her for quite some time. I was and still am one of those kids. Only as an adult I can't let age be the answer to who I choose to have as my friends. I am extremely choosy about my friends and subsequently many friends fall off... It's also hard because sometimes I feel like maybe there is something "wrong" with me when this happens, but truthfully I feel there are true few intellectual peers. Not that I am "smarter" than most people or not "as smart" as others, but my brain works differently.<BR/><BR/>My older son is much the same. He was a loner as a toddler and is in an accelerated learning classroom. He often gets in trouble when he starts spending time with his classmates and on weekend getaways enjoys games and interactions that specifcally involve adults.<BR/><BR/>My younger son is quite the opposite in many regards. Can spend hours on his own entertaining himself but is the life of the party when his peers are involved. He loves adults as well, but really loves men and rough play. <BR/><BR/>It interesting to watch them both grow and play and interact with the world. They are so very different and yet get along quite smashingly with one another.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for this thought provoking post. And for the comment on mine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163698230630558432006-11-16T09:30:00.000-08:002006-11-16T09:30:00.000-08:00My sister and I just had a similar conversation re...My sister and I just had a similar conversation recently because her 4 year old has no interest in his peers and prefers the friends of his 8 year old brother. The only concern she had about that was she thought it would be important for him to at least learn to be social so that he can learn how to get along with children his age whether he is above, below, or at the same intellect as his peers so that he could feel comfortable in any situation-especially when he gets older and would want to 'fit in'. I mean, thinking about how hellish high school can be without at least a couple good friends is a pretty premature worry right now-he IS only 4 years old. Still though-that might have been the teacher's concern. Or she might just be a know-it-all.LittlePeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17890731735785145148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163695690621319722006-11-16T08:48:00.000-08:002006-11-16T08:48:00.000-08:00This is such an excellent post. My son is two and...This is such an excellent post. My son is two and he doesn't like to play with other kids too often. I was so worried about it. But I realized he's just fine, he's not ready and I can't worry about that...he'll make friends at his own pace.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163690636262460792006-11-16T07:23:00.000-08:002006-11-16T07:23:00.000-08:00a reason I consider homeschooling my daughter.gran...a reason I consider homeschooling my daughter.<BR/><BR/>granted we all think our kids are brill - but I think there's something to be said about having to meet the masses (i.e. school kids) where they are -- which is --not by any fault of their own, persay, a result of shitty parenting in this country.<BR/><BR/>I mean -- you can have a great teacher - but if the parents aren't doing anything with the kids or don't care to - it affects what's going on with the classroom. <BR/><BR/>Why should I (we) have to put up with that crap? <BR/><BR/>Sorry for the ranty rant there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163690450339186082006-11-16T07:20:00.000-08:002006-11-16T07:20:00.000-08:00a) Karen is effing gorgeous. Like everytime I saw ...a) Karen is effing gorgeous. Like everytime I saw her I was like "wow". And prior to that I had read her writing and saw her photographs, she's just amazing.<BR/><BR/>b) I'm with you on the whole 'average people want you to be average' thing. I've always enjoyed being around older people as well. I felt like they could teach me things. Even now it holds true, as a good number of my friends are now older than I. It's not necessarily about intelligence level for me, but instead I like to learn from other's experiences and if someone is older than I, then obviously they'll have more experience. Odd, but true. <BR/><BR/>c) Is it just me or does it feel like BlogHer was like 45 years ago? Crazy.Heather B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07931351971982028473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163688102525910752006-11-16T06:41:00.001-08:002006-11-16T06:41:00.001-08:00Shit that was long. Sorry. You touched a nerve.Shit that was long. Sorry. You touched a nerve.Suzannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16279999850117456433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18820173.post-1163688079327491852006-11-16T06:41:00.000-08:002006-11-16T06:41:00.000-08:00My cousin, who is 19 and a brilliant sophomore at ...My cousin, who is 19 and a brilliant sophomore at Sarah Lawrence College now, is just like that. She was always into theater and the arts, and most of her friends are my age (I'm 30) or a bit older. It is a tough was to grow up, and can leave some unfortunate scars. Fortunately, Sara Lawrence is filled with other precocious "oddballs," so she has some very cool peers these days. I'm really glad that we live near each other and can hang out.<BR/><BR/>As for me, I mostly got along with kids my age, but it also seems like many super intelligent people clustered in the community in which I grew up. I found high school more intellectually challenging than college or grad school. What really burns me, though, is that I was always left out of "gifted" programs because my family was not wealthy like the other families. Clearly, a working class kid could not be as smart as some CEO's offspring, right?<BR/><BR/>Anyway, I have always been very class conscious as a result, which I think is good. It made me very socially active at a young age. (I believe I tried to get kids on my bus to urge their parents to vote against Reagan in 1984. I was 8.)Suzannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16279999850117456433noreply@blogger.com