26 March 2009

J'accuse

I have recently been accused of being a very bad person by someone. I can't go into the details, but it has been hurtful and weird and, even though I know the situation is crazy, it still has made me question my actions and motives.

Or at least it did for a while. But then I realized - dang me, I really DO try to do the right thing for the most part.

Sure, I'm lazy and sometimes careless and in no way perfect. But I try. Honest, I do.

Pull up your chairs, kiddies: story time!

This morning I pulled my car out of the driveway and headed down the street, glancing in my rearview mirror.

Where I saw a dead cat in the street. Which looked like my neighbors' cat, Penny.

I didn't think I ran over the cat - it looked quite dead - but seeing it set off a firestorm of thoughts.

- Should I stop and get my neighbors, who were most likely asleep?
- Would they want to be awakened with news of their dead cat?
- They would see their dead cat soon enough, right?
- But if it was my animal, would I want it lying out there in the street?

By then I was out across the intersection from which there is no easy return. You have to go All The Way Around.

I sighed. I realized that I had to go back to deal with the dead cat. My plan was to go home, get a box, get gloves, clean Penny up, and present my neighbors with the closed box, so they would not be too traumatized by seeing poor little Penny cat out there in the street.

I got back home - knowing I would be late for work, but oh well. I got out of the car and went to look at Penny.

What I discovered was a total surprise. Not only was Penny not Penny, but Penny wasn't even a cat. Penny was a rabbit. (Sorry, Suzanne). And no one I know on my street has a rabbit.

Off the hook for Death Duty. Whew. But I was willing to do it if I had to. This being a good person thing is a pain in the butt, but it is something we do day by day, moment by moment. And sometimes those moments are gross and weird and strange. But we do what we can, right?

"Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.
After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water."

- from an old story about a Zen master

21 comments:

  1. That was very kind and brave of you. I would not have been able to convince myself to clean up a dead animal in the street, possibly not even if it was mine. You are a good person.

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  2. I'm laughing about the rabbit. I'd say you're definitely a good person.

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  3. You definitely did the right thing, and your neighbors would have thanked you for it. You would have been glad if someone had (tried to) do the same thing for you.

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  4. WHO, I ask, in their right mind could accuse you of being a bad person? Granted, I only know what I read here and the emails we've traded, but everything in there points to you having a heart of gold (and the heart of Goldie!)

    One of my favorite quotes:
    " No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." --Eleanor Roosevelt

    and to paraphrase Steel Magnolias as every gay man should "You sound like good people to me!"

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  5. Anonymous9:28 AM

    When my cat was hit, my neighbor let me know, and helped me pick him up. It broke my heart, but I was so thankful for my neighbor's help. You did the right thing.

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  6. Yes, you definitely did the right thing. It would break my heart to know my cat had been lying in the street and no one would stop and bring it home to me.

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  7. As a pet owner, thank you for being willing to do something about not leaving the animal in the street.

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  8. Anonymous2:34 PM

    I'm sorry you're having friend stress. It's difficult to imagine you as a horrible person.

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  9. even good people f*ck up sometimes. did you? if so, apologize and learn from it. if not, there's nothing you can do so don't freak out too much - which is way easier to say than to do, i know.

    also, good thing you noticed BEFORE you handed over a dead rabbit in a box to your cat owning neighbor. i don't think good people are supposed to do that.
    ;-)

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  10. @lizriz - No definitely NOT a friend situation

    @ericka - Not a situation where I screwed up either. I am innocent but stand accused, which is the weird part.

    Sorry I can't give details. Sucks.

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  11. It happened to me last summer, SueBob, and while, like you, I know I'm a good person (but still try to be better), this thing that happened haunts me and still makes me question myself.

    So I'm thinking of it in a positive way. It's a reminder.

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  12. oh, i hate situations like that (both of 'em).
    i can't imagine you not being a good person, fluke or not. hopefully you won't let it get you down.
    glad it wasn't the neighbor's cat, but poor bunny. :(

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  13. Oh! Poor rabbit. But yes, you were willing to do a kind and difficult thing.

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  14. Um. Definitely good.

    If I see road kill I usually close my eyes as I go past and PRAY that my tires are on either side of it and I won't run it over.

    I'd totally drive past it, even if it were Penny. (Sorry Penny's owners!) But there is NO way in Sam Hill you'd get my out there with a shovel and a box.

    I think even my own cat would have to wait for my husband to get home.

    Yup. I'm going straight to hell.

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  15. My mouth dropped open when I read that someone thought you were a very bad person? Am I at the right blog? You, Suebob? I must be dreaming....
    About the dead bunny too...I hope it wasn't the Easter bunny.
    :(

    Hugs!!

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  16. Oh I think you're obviously a VERY good person. And I love that Zen quote.

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  17. I can't understand why anyone would think that you are not a good person. It boggles the mind. As for the rabbit, hey, it happens. Poor little guy/gal, though.

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  18. You are an awesome person, so pppbbbththt to the person who asserted otherwise

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  19. I'm sure you are a good person.;D
    Have a good day.;D

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  20. You made me laugh bout the rabbit.But you're a good person,have a nice day.;D

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  21. i'm glad you did ultimately decide to go back - i would have that same debate in my head.

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