Video Break

I found this bit of funnyness over at Whoopee.



And this has GOT to be fake. Right? Right?? (Start watching about 1:40 in)

A weird problem

My friend has an Issue. A kind of odd issue, the kind of thing the InterWebs are great at giving advice about.

His birthday is September 11. 9-11.

The first year of 9-11, the birthday was easily forgotten. Everyone was in shock and pain.

He thought maybe it would become more normal as the years went by, but it is still weird to celebrate on that day. It is even weird to tell people when his birthday is, because they always wince.

Question: Should he lie about his birthdate?

There are new things for your reading pleasure at both Linkateria AND True Employee Confessions.

Oh no. Not that.

Mr Stapler said that, by having so many readers (dozens!) I am bound to change my writing because I can feel my audience listening. That may be somewhat true, but you know what is really changing the way I behave?

Becoming a church board member. Who knew that getting elected to the board would make me self-conscious about my behavior? I am in grave danger of becoming a real Church Lady. I feel like I can't flip people off when I drive anymore, for one.

I mean, what if the idiot drivers happen into my church and see my nametag and go, "You're a board member? You're the bitch that flipped me off one morning as you tried to merge onto the freeway!"

The other day I saw a headline that struck terror into my heart.

"Former Church Official Indicted in Scandal."

I thought "Oh crap. Whatever I do, from now on I will either be a Present Church Official or a Former Church Official."

I don't tend to be scandal-prone, usually, but you never know. Weirder things have happened.

I just really hope I'm never in a news story with "Former Church Official" in the headline.

A Star is Borne

My life is pretty much Groundhog Day. I tend to do the same things at the same time, or thereabouts. It's not as bad as Harold Crick, quite, but it's pretty rare that you find me doing something completely new.

Last night I did something completely new. Something that made my brain stand up and say "Hey! What is going on here?" No, not Ecstasy, silly.

I took an improv comedy class. Me and 7 other lunatics met in a tiny cold theater downtown to be coached by a tall, funny director named Gary. All of the other lunatics were return vistors, so I was the only complete bumbling newbie.

But I knew a thing or two. I have visited Thr Groundlings on several occasions. I have watched Whose Line is it, Anyway? on occasion. So I am practically Ryan Stiles, eh?

I was prepared to commit to my character. To stay in the moment. To loosen up and let go. And even knowing all that, I failed miserably at times. But, hell, kids, I got up on stage in front of a group and made crap up and had a blast doing it. Even got a couple laughs with my elderly pole-dancer routine.

There were games and exercises, mostly to teach you how to listen and to stay present. We did skits, too. I was floored by how good everyone else was, and how nice they were to me. Almost everyone was young (read: younger than me), but there was one senior-citizen aged guy who killed me with his beautiful timing.

I came home all happy with my brain clicking and firing in a whole new way. It felt cool to leave Groundhog Day behind for a couple hours.

Check Linkateria for some new links.

Blog for Choice

Today's the anniversary of Roe V. Wade and we are all supposed to Blog for Choice. Yay. What do you think a raving feminist liberal like me is going to say?

Maybe not what you think.

I hate the abortion controversy. I am done with abortion. I know, it is our precious right, the thing that Must Not Be Taken Away, the thing that we must all fight for no matter what.

My cynical take on it is this: both sides need abortion. Feminism needs abortion as a rallying cry because it is quick and easy to get people riled up about. One simple issue - yes or no.

And the Right needs abortion, LOVES abortion, because it keeps strong women's energy focused on this one tiny issue and away from the important everyday stuff that would affect women in a bigger way - equal pay, health care, child care, the disappearance of the middle class.

Nobody is going to outlaw abortion. They aren't even going to restrict it very much. They're just going to keep talking about doing it. It will be like the Shiny Object the magician waves in front of us to keep our attention while he digs playing cards out of his sleeve.

Presto chango, girlies. Over here! Look at abortion! Meanwhile I will be cutting education funding, sending your job to India and taxing healthcare benefits! Ta-da!