The scene: Exit 253 McDonalds, Highway 55, Joliet, Illinois. 2 pm Sunday July 26
There I was. Tired. Decaffeinated. Desperate. I knew the nearest Starbucks was about 4 long miles away and I needed to check into my motel and relax, but first my screaming empty neuroreceptors needed coffee.
Thus, McDonald's. I had been seeing their McCafe bus billboards for the past months advertising their $1.69 iced coffee.
Usually I only go to McDonald's to use the restroom, figuring that eating there every single day of my teen life had paid for the occasional road-trip pit stop, but in this case I was willing to make an exception because I needed mah coffee!
Brittany: WelcometoMcDonaldsmayIhelpyou?
Suebob: Is your iced coffee sweetened?
(I asked because Starbuck's default iced coffee is sweetened. Ugh.)
Brittany: We have sweet tea.
Sue: But the iced coffee isn't sweetened?
Brittany: The latte is sweet.
Sue: (realizing I needed to change tactics): I'll have an iced coffee.
Brittany: Iced tea?
Sue: Iced coffee
Brittany: Latte?
Sue: No, ICED COFFEE
Brittany: Madison, where's the button for iced coffee?
(Madison ignores her).
Brittany: Where's the button for iced coffee????
Madison: Right here. Where it always is.
(Oh, SNAP!)
Brittany: Do you want cream?
Sue: Yes.
Brittany: What kind of syrup?
Sue: No syrup. Just iced coffee.
Brittany: With cream?
Sue: Yes, cream, no syrup.
(waiting)
My drink came. It was a big milky latte, sweetened, with whipped cream on top. I had to wait while Brittany finished screwing up someone else's order.
Sue: Ummm, this isn't iced coffee.
All motion behind the counter stopped as everyone glared at me.
Sue: Please. I want. A cup. With ice in it. With coffee. And milk. That is it. Cup, ice, coffee, milk. Iced coffee.
Three minutes later I had what I wanted. The whole transaction had taken 10 minutes and set me back $1.69. The coffee wasn't bad. But next time? Dunkin' Donuts.
ROFL!
ReplyDeleteI've always said....
"I won't complain about the way a physician does neurosurgery because I've never been a neurosurgeon. However, I will tell you that you're an idiot of elephantine proportions (thank you Ratatouille) if you're screwing up a McDonald's order because I've worked at a McDonald's and I know it's not rocket science (or neurosurgery for that matter).
Once I was at a Burger King and the cashier was training a new person. The experienced cashier counted my change back to me starting with my total and counting back up to the $10 I had given her. The trainee smiled, looked at me, and said "I am amazed at people who can do that, I just can't!" I was amazed that someone old enough to get a job in the US COULDN'T do that.
I don't know that I ever saw the trainee again. I wasn't surprised.
But but McDonald's has won the recession according to slate.com!
ReplyDeleteI don't think their new coffee campaign had much to do with it, however.
What pisses me off about getting coffee at McDonalds is that I have to open a dozen of those tiny creamer cups in my car. How does one coordinate that? And then I have a dozen empty, drippy creamer cups to deal with! And sometimes the McDonalds professional tries to just hand me the 12 creamers and I have to suggest they put them in a bag for me.
Eh, I make it sound like I go to McDonalds all the time for coffee but, really, I have only gone 3 times b/c that is simply unacceptable.
I feel better now.
Dunkins never lets you down. ("Time to make the donuts!")
ReplyDeleteTry being a vegetarian and having to order a modified item from these people. Like a McDonalds biscuit sandwich with egg and cheese only, no bacon. Or an Arby's Market-Fresh Sandwich with no beef, just cheese and vegetables. Or ANYWHERE they have to press a million buttons to modify their standard menu items. I have ended up with the most bizarre crap you can imagine because they either don't know what button to press or they're over-thinking things. Torture, really.
ReplyDelete*blink* you had a dunkin donuts there and you went to mcdonald's for coffee? really?
ReplyDeleteDave - I AM a vegetarian. I don't go to fast food places much, but when I do, I feel your pain. Example: I ordered a chalupa at Taco Hell with no meat. The counter guy asked "Would you like it without steak, or without chicken?" I asked "What is the difference?" and he said, "Oh, without chicken is cheaper." So I got a chalupa. Without chicken.
ReplyDeleteAnd Ericka, I KNOW! But I had been BY the DD, thinking my motel was right there and that I would check in and go get coffee. But I was at the wrong exit. I got flustered, headed down to the right motel, and McDonald's was right across the street and DD was 5 miles away...Bad mistake.
ok, ok ok!! how about THIS?!?
ReplyDelete"I'll have a small fry"
"two apple pies?"
"no, small fry"
"A big mac?"
*drives away*
I went to Vons tonight and bought four items - a 1/2 gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, a box of pasta and a package of cheese.
ReplyDeleteThe bag-person asked me what kind of bag I wanted. (shamefully, I have not been good about bringing reusable bags)
I said, "Please put it all in one bag, I think it will fit."
So when I finished my transaction with the checker, I picked up my bag - uh, actually, it was double-bagged.
So...instead of putting my four items in two separate bags, they put it all in a double bag.
I thought about saying, "What part of ONE BAG don't you understand?" But I gave up.
Totally a bummer. I wonder if maybe their default iced coffee is the crap that they served you first? I don't drink it, so I don't know.
ReplyDeleteTo Project Christopher, I'm shocked when I see anyone under the age of 40 who CAN count back change. I'm not even kidding. No one does it anymore.
I once tried to order a Quarter Pounder without cheese. It took about forty-five minutes.
ReplyDelete