Random Sabado Gigante

I have been collecting odd and whimsical uses of the English language that I find on some of my favorite blogs. I am not making fun. I know these word choices aren't "real" words or "proper," but I appreciate the zany creativity involved. If you find that one of these is something from your blog, let me know and you will win a Valuable Prize to be determined when our panel of judges gets off her lazy butt:

pummelting toward the end of my marriage

It wasn't worth dealing with her if we weren't going to try to make a goal of it.

I feel a deep-seeded physical ache.

He was adored and put upon a pedastool being the only son

her head is disalarmingly large for her body.

from what I've gleamed from the second hand knowledge I received

So I had to sit there while you animals eloped down your dessert, pretending that it was alright.

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I got my lovely stickers in the mail from Suzanne at Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) and Other Rants. They are cute as hell, and feature a Hello Kitty-style cat and beaver hugging and saying "CUSS!"

I put one on my laptop along with my fine Red Stapler sticker and now it looks quite festive. I just hope I never have to explain CUSS to my mom, because I honestly don't think she would ever understand.

Go over to Suzanne's site and check it out. If you talk nice to her, she may even send you one.



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You know I live in a tiny rented shack, right? It is deeply beloved, but very small, and it is not mine.

Last week I was telling my co-workers about my dream home, which is on my favorite street. I joked that the current owners just didn't KNOW it was my house yet.

It went on sale on Thursday. I think this is a sign.

Do you think if I put a donation button on my blog, I could collect enough for a down payment on $1.45 mil? Because I don't think selling my CD collection would quite cut it. And I would have to worry about the payments later, tra la.

It's a really nice house. On 1/3 acre, with a courtyard, fountains, pool...

Take the Anti-Troll Pledge

The coolest thing happened today. It started out bad, then got worse, then took a turn for the better.

(I am going to be oblique because I don't want to encourage the troll. If you want the True Scoop on who, what and where, email me at suebobdavis at cashette dotcom and I will fill you in.)

Bad: One of my Favorite All-Time Bloggers announced on her blog that she has cancer.

Worse: A troll - anonymous of-fucking-course - immediately popped up in My Favorite All-Time Blogger's comments and accused her of "faking it" and said that "the cancer would kill her."

Can you hear my blood sizzling in my veins?

Better: Dozens and dozens (almost 100) of other commenters left supportive comments AND NOT ONE MENTIONED THE TROLL.

That's the way we do it, people. When the troll pops his ugly warty head out from under the bridge, we just keep marching with our heads held high and our eyes on the adoring crowds before us, not on the slimeball beneath.

So, if you will, take the Suebobian Anti-Troll Pledge for me:

I _________, do happily swear on (something that is holy to me. I'll pick chocolate) that when I see a troll in action, I will glance at the sight, shake my head, say a mental "Bless their heart" (see a discussion of "Bless their heart" here) and move on without stopping or trying to correct the troll.

Because everyone knows trolls are beneath bridges and are beneath our contempt. Can I get an "amen"? Sign on in the comments section.

Listmania

I just found a list I had made a few weeks ago and had completely forgotten about. It isn't titled but from the subject matter, I would guess it is about "Things that are pissing me off."

Nextel
Jowliness
Weak Coffee
Roosters
Freeway Accident Rubberneckers
Shorter Days because summer is over
Cellulite
Fox News
Liquid Bombers
Off-leash dogs

I'm only surprised that George W. Bush and exorbitant rent didn't make the list.

Linkateria, now with extra Linkberries^TM

Public Transportation equals insanity

As much as I am a big fan of the idea of cheap, efficient public transportation, I can't imagine life without my car.

The convenience, yes, that's a big thing. The fact that I use my cute little Subaru Forester as an overly large purse is another.

But the real thing I couldn't do without is my car as a place to scream at the top of my lungs when I am pissed off.

Then it is especially convenient that the two times a day I am usually most angry is either going to work or coming home from work.

Other drivers provoke my ire and occasionally (ok, every single day) find me yelling "Hello? HELLO DUMBASS!" to myself.

But the real sources of my fits usually coincide with work. Getting in the car this morning to find I had walked - in my black dress - through a thick cobweb caused an outburst of "Oh that's great! THAT IS SO FUCKING GREAT!"

As did my mom when I dropped off the dog (my folks love the petsitting). I told her I would be late because I was going to the gym and she said "Oh, that gym you haven't been to in like a year?" caused me to get into my soundproof cubicle and scream "Thanks for the encouragement, Mom!! Thanks a LOT! I APPRECIATE IT, MOM! I love the support!!"

Then upon leaving work, I usually have some things to scream. They shall remain ever lost in the ethers, though, because I need my job.

So what do you people who take the subway or bus DO? I can only speculate that the reason that you see so many people talking to themselves on public transportation is that they miss doing it in their cars.

You'd think I could quit pimping Linkateria every single day, but no. As soon as I quit, the stats drop off to nothing. And you know I need those stats for when I become a Big Blog Mogul.