"Wag More. Bark Less."
It will go on the back where Goldie rides.
19 February 2008
Good advice
My new car magnet for the BlueMobile:
"Wag More. Bark Less."
It will go on the back where Goldie rides.
"Wag More. Bark Less."
It will go on the back where Goldie rides.
18 February 2008
The Great Interview Experiment
Some centuries back, I agreed to participate in Neil of Citizen of the Month's Great Interview Experiment.
The idea is that random bloggers interview other bloggers and spread the bloggy love around. My interviewer is Lori Madison of Rural Peace. I am interviewing Jenn Satterwite of Mommy Needs Coffee.
Without further ado, here is Lori's interview of me:
What writer, alive or dead would you like to slap and why?
Oh, might as well start off with heresy. You know how I am.
The Apostle Paul and his busybody little letters. Epistles, as they are called. Dude didn’t even KNOW Jesus and yet he acts like he’s the final word on everything. What Jesus said was pretty straightforward, then Paul had to come along and muck it all up. Thanks for 20 centuries of war and hatred, man. Appreciate it.
If you could create your own reality just for one day, what would that reality be like? Would birds talk? Could you move objects with your mind, etc?
My religious tradition (Unity) says that I create my own reality EVERY day, so I guess I am stuck with the one I have. It isn’t so bad. I could use more beach time, though.
You can breathe underwater, and no underwater predators can harm you, and you could swim at any depth without ill effects, where in the world would you go to swim?
Bora Bora. I have always wanted to go there and this seems like the perfect chance.
What is the oddest thing someone ever said to you?
“I never meant for it to get this serious,” said my boyfriend of 3 years while we were breaking up. Huh? You think you might have told me sometime BEFORE I wasted 3 years on your lazy stoner ass?
You are on a bus when suddenly someone stands up takes a gun out of their pocket and announces they are hijacking the bus, what is the very first thought that enters your mind?
“I think I can take him.”
The idea is that random bloggers interview other bloggers and spread the bloggy love around. My interviewer is Lori Madison of Rural Peace. I am interviewing Jenn Satterwite of Mommy Needs Coffee.
Without further ado, here is Lori's interview of me:
What writer, alive or dead would you like to slap and why?
Oh, might as well start off with heresy. You know how I am.
The Apostle Paul and his busybody little letters. Epistles, as they are called. Dude didn’t even KNOW Jesus and yet he acts like he’s the final word on everything. What Jesus said was pretty straightforward, then Paul had to come along and muck it all up. Thanks for 20 centuries of war and hatred, man. Appreciate it.
If you could create your own reality just for one day, what would that reality be like? Would birds talk? Could you move objects with your mind, etc?
My religious tradition (Unity) says that I create my own reality EVERY day, so I guess I am stuck with the one I have. It isn’t so bad. I could use more beach time, though.
You can breathe underwater, and no underwater predators can harm you, and you could swim at any depth without ill effects, where in the world would you go to swim?
Bora Bora. I have always wanted to go there and this seems like the perfect chance.
What is the oddest thing someone ever said to you?
“I never meant for it to get this serious,” said my boyfriend of 3 years while we were breaking up. Huh? You think you might have told me sometime BEFORE I wasted 3 years on your lazy stoner ass?
You are on a bus when suddenly someone stands up takes a gun out of their pocket and announces they are hijacking the bus, what is the very first thought that enters your mind?
“I think I can take him.”
17 February 2008
Think of the children!
This is the letter to the editor that made me laugh until I wept this morning:
I'm going to make this guy an honorary member of my group N.O.T.S.A.F.E. - the National Organization To Save Americans From Everything.
Safety goggles missing
Re: Steve Greenberg's Feb. 10 cartoon:
I have a bone to pick with this cartoon. It depicted the Democratic donkey as a sculptor with a mallet and chisel trying to decide if he should carve first "woman" or first "black" president on an unfinished statue. Greenberg didn't draw the donkey wearing safety goggles. Children will see this cartoon and perhaps try their hand at carving without goggles and lose an eye. Greenberg needs to think of eye safety before he takes up his pen and inks.
— [Name redacted], Oak View
I'm going to make this guy an honorary member of my group N.O.T.S.A.F.E. - the National Organization To Save Americans From Everything.
16 February 2008
Murder is ordinary
When I was a sweet young thing I worked in a movie theatre. After putting in my time behind the candy counter (my advice: don't eat the hot dogs. Those things have been sitting there ALL DAY), I was promoted to the prestigious position of box office cashier.
Families with young children would come up to the window. The mom always asked the question.
"Why is that movie rated R?"
"It isn't appropriate for children under 17," I would answer dryly, because I was a smartass teenager myself.
"I mean...does it have sex?" she would ask.
"No, but it is very violent," I would explain.
Her face would brighten. "Okay, then, we'll take two adults and one child."
No one ever decided not to take their kids to a movie because I told them it was too violent. Sex - no. Nudity - maybe. But violence? Fine! Let's get popcorn!
***********
Last night I went to a vigil for a little boy who was shot and killed in his classroom by a classmate.
**********
This week has been so violent in America. Hand-wringing from all sides. "What have we done wrong?" everyone asks.
It makes me want to scream. Look, people, murder is a huge part of our lives. It is like fast food or something. It is consumed daily in 99.9 percent of American households.
Murder mysteries take up rows and rows at the Barnes and Noble. No murder, no book.
Try flipping around the TV dial without seeing a murder. Video games - even "Christian" video games show scenes of rampant murder. It's fun, the killing, isn't it?
It's freedom of speech. Artistic license. Each new murder has to have a twist, to be a little sicker and more graphic than the last.
CSI. 24. Law and Order. The news. Natalie Holloway. Laci Peterson. OJ. Murder She F***ing Wrote. Murder murder murder we love the murder.
*********
Forgive me, please. I'm on a rant. Right now I'm just feeling a little sick. Lawrence King is dead, another kid is in jail for his murder, and next week they won't be news because some other murders will have taken their place.
Families with young children would come up to the window. The mom always asked the question.
"Why is that movie rated R?"
"It isn't appropriate for children under 17," I would answer dryly, because I was a smartass teenager myself.
"I mean...does it have sex?" she would ask.
"No, but it is very violent," I would explain.
Her face would brighten. "Okay, then, we'll take two adults and one child."
No one ever decided not to take their kids to a movie because I told them it was too violent. Sex - no. Nudity - maybe. But violence? Fine! Let's get popcorn!
***********
Last night I went to a vigil for a little boy who was shot and killed in his classroom by a classmate.
**********
This week has been so violent in America. Hand-wringing from all sides. "What have we done wrong?" everyone asks.
It makes me want to scream. Look, people, murder is a huge part of our lives. It is like fast food or something. It is consumed daily in 99.9 percent of American households.
Murder mysteries take up rows and rows at the Barnes and Noble. No murder, no book.
Try flipping around the TV dial without seeing a murder. Video games - even "Christian" video games show scenes of rampant murder. It's fun, the killing, isn't it?
It's freedom of speech. Artistic license. Each new murder has to have a twist, to be a little sicker and more graphic than the last.
CSI. 24. Law and Order. The news. Natalie Holloway. Laci Peterson. OJ. Murder She F***ing Wrote. Murder murder murder we love the murder.
*********
Forgive me, please. I'm on a rant. Right now I'm just feeling a little sick. Lawrence King is dead, another kid is in jail for his murder, and next week they won't be news because some other murders will have taken their place.
14 February 2008
So answer me this
1) My kitchen sink stopper is a non-standard size (because my sink is ancient and non-standard), so I can't stop up my sink if I want to. It just doesn't fit right (but it keeps veg peels from going down the pipes).
So answer me this: Why, then, when I dump something disgusting, does the sink stopper magically seal for once, so that I have to reach through an inch of murky, coffee-ground- and oatmeal-filled water to unstop it?
2) There is a motion-sensor light above my front door. It does not turn on with a switch. When the switch is on, it still needs motion to set it off, and many things do this - cats, waving banana leaves that are 30 feet away, wrinkles in the fabric of the universe...
So answer me this: Why, when I open the front door and Goldie and I walk out into the pitch blackness and I want to take the trash out and want light to keep me from breaking an ankle, so I stand there waving my arms in every direction like a total maniac, will the light not go on until I have waved so hard that I have already fallen off the front porch?
Do you have any questions? Or answers?
********
PS I love you people! I don't say it often enough but Valentines Day shouldn't just be reserved for romantic love, right? I just hope that everyone gets the same amount of fun, support and friendship that I have from blogging.
So answer me this: Why, then, when I dump something disgusting, does the sink stopper magically seal for once, so that I have to reach through an inch of murky, coffee-ground- and oatmeal-filled water to unstop it?
2) There is a motion-sensor light above my front door. It does not turn on with a switch. When the switch is on, it still needs motion to set it off, and many things do this - cats, waving banana leaves that are 30 feet away, wrinkles in the fabric of the universe...
So answer me this: Why, when I open the front door and Goldie and I walk out into the pitch blackness and I want to take the trash out and want light to keep me from breaking an ankle, so I stand there waving my arms in every direction like a total maniac, will the light not go on until I have waved so hard that I have already fallen off the front porch?
Do you have any questions? Or answers?
********
PS I love you people! I don't say it often enough but Valentines Day shouldn't just be reserved for romantic love, right? I just hope that everyone gets the same amount of fun, support and friendship that I have from blogging.
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