Sin City

I am in Las Vegas. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but I haven't done anything so far I can't talk about...though how would anyone ever know?

The last time I was here was 20 years ago, with Mr. Mojo. He had won the trip at a comedy contest, which was about as far as his comedy career ever got. It wasn't that he lacked comedic skills - the man was, and remains, the funniest person I have ever met - but he lacked focus . Like so many of us. He could kick Carrot Top's comedy butt any night of the week, I can tell you that - and Carrot Top appears to be playing at the very hotel where I am staying. There are hideous posters of his ugly mug about every 30 feet.

Anyway, me and Mr. M took ecstasy - this was back when it was LEGAL, believe it or not - and spent the evening in rhapsody, listening to the tour helicopters overhead, me saying over and over, blissfully, "It's the sound of victory" - because I couldn't imagine anyone spending the helicopter money unless they had won big. I guess you had to be there, and on drugs. It's probably a good thing they made Ex illegal.

This time my strongest drug of choice has been a gin and tonic. I find the whole place a bit silly, to tell you the truth. I kind of liked it better when it was seedy and rundown and its sole purpose was gambling and drinking. Now, between the water features and the IMAX movies and the guys with "Strippers to your room in 15 minutes" t-shirts, I don't quite know what to think.