Ok, my dear friend over at Don't Floss With Tinsel pointed me to this site My Heritage that lets you upload a photo to compare your facial features to those of 3,200 famous people and see whom you most resemble.
The results from first photo I uploaded were not encouraging. My facial features were 49 percent like Mark Almond (who?) and 47% like the bearded UnaBomber look-alike Jim Henson.
That struck me as funny because Mr. Stapler's favorite endearment for me is "Muppet Face." Is he onto something?
I tried a different photo, the one shown in my profile and things suddenly got worse, then better.
The fairly hideous but talented Willem DaFoe matches my features 64 percent. The cadaverous David Carradine and the not-so-hot Anthony Quinn were at 52 percent and 51 percent respectively.
I was only saved from leaping off a bridge by my stunning resemblance to Beyonce Knowles (54 percent, and she is quite the Muppet Face herself).
Even better, it says I look like my ambisexual idol, Johnny Depp (53%). Hey, if I am slightly more than half as hot as Johnny Depp, that is quite sufficient for me. And now, if I ever meet Mr. Depp, I have an instant conversation starter just in case he ever decides to dump that French Vanessa chick. Ah, a girl needs dreams.