09 June 2006

Bad dogs bad dogs, whatcha gonna do?

Another walk, another attacking dog. Well, two attacking dogs.

What is it with these rampaging dogs this week? I am getting so paranoid that I am about ready to lock myself indoors and suck down some Tanqueray and tonic...oh, wait, I AM already locked indoors with the gin and tonic, nevermind.

So much for my vow to quit drinking. Get off my back, it's Friday! Why are you always nagging me about my drinking? I don't have a problem, I don't, I don't, honesht. I love ya, man, have I ever told you that?

Anyway, here's today's tale of dog evil: my dear Goldie and I were walking on the trail by the park when we saw an Akita and a pit bull, no owner in sight, attack two dogs that an older couple was walking. I mean, attack. The pit bull grabbed the older dog, a golden retriever, by the throat and forced her to the ground, while the Akita fiercely bit at the other dog. The people beat off the attacker dogs with these big heavy leashes they had. Then the dogs came after me and Goldie.

I was frantically looking for a stick but I couldn't find one. I hurled a big rock at them, missing by 10 feet, of course, because I am such a weenie-girl. The adrenaline kicked in and I got aggressive as they rushed up to us. I stood tall and stomped my feet and waved my arms and yelled like a fool maniac.

They slowed down but still came toward us.

When they got within rance, I kicked the Akita in the head. It was a beautiful round kick that my self-defense teacher would have been so proud of. I really landed that sucker. It has been about 15 years since I kicked somebody in the head like that.

I felt practically like the lovely Taekwondo Junior Olympian, Maya, seen kicking ass in this video over at Mad Organica.

The Akita turned and ran, and the pit bull glared at us for one more minute (I could not bring myself to kick him, given the size of his huge maw) and then followed.

I know kicking dogs is wrong. I'm a vegetarian, for goodness sake. I won't even hurt a pork chop. But sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do - and sometimes that is to open a can of whupass on a stupid pig-eyed Akita.

Two new posts, including one all-video edition, over at Linkateria.


Anonymous said...

It sucks to have to take things into your own hands (feet?) but for the safety of yourself and your dog...a girl does what a girl needs to do.

ps I love animals (and eating some of them but still) and would never advocate the kicking of a dog unless it was for defense!

Debbie said...

DUDE. You are seriously impressive. I would've been so shit-scared.

Then again, when called upon to act, I suppose one must. And you did. With a vengeance.

Color me impressed.

Anonymous said...

I'm duly impressed. I'm not sure I would have reacted so swiftly.

Kentucky Girl said...

What the hell? You have some sort of weird something going on for TWO of them to appear so closely together. I mean, we go to the dog park and never have our dogs been attacked, I would freak out because they just don't 'know' that other dogs can be assholes.

You should stay in with your gin and tonic. Actually, that doesn't sound half bad. hehe

Christina said...

Wow, what is it with the crazy dogs in your area? Good for you for kicking the Akita! In that situation, I think you did the right thing. You have to protect yourself and your puppy-child.

SUEB0B said...

Self-defense training really does help. Instead of panicking, you learn to keep acting and planning.

That pit bull had a HUUUGE head, though. Yikes.

I live in what would politely be called a "blue collar" neighborhood - now I guess it would be a t-shirt neighborhood. Poorer people tend to have big mean dogs for a variety of reasons, from using them as a security system to fighting them for some macho kicks.

Fences here are also crappier than in the burbs, which means dogs get out sometimes. Last night's dogs had collars. They were just out on the town.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you need to start carrying some pepper spray or something. Thanks for your comment, but please don't think I'm suicidal. Far from it, and I suppose I need to quit being so secretive in my profile. I'm just a frustrated writer. I'll post some other stuff that's not so dark.

spotted elephant said...

Oh gods. Don't feel badly about defending yourself and your dog. Of course you wouldn't kick an Akita who was walking nicely on a leash!

That's very cool about the self defense training. I've always wanted to do that.

Goldie is lucky to have you.

noncommon said...

was that other dog hurt bad? glad you two are okay!

SUEB0B said...

No, Cameo - the other dog's head was large and hard. He seemed dissuaded but not wounded. I don't know WHAT I would have done if I really hurt him.

super des said...

jeez, always going around kicking my dogs, just because they try to kill you and your dogfriend.

SUEB0B said...

Des - I am a bitch that way. Did you connect with Gandhi?

super des said...

I did. There was a dog involved, but no attacking. Though M-dog did growl at me for no reason.

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

I'm amazed at your strength under pressure. But we'll do anything to protect those we love, even if they're of the four-legged variety.

Next time, carry pepper spray. Its safer for you. Just make sure you keep Goldie down-wind.

Bamboo Lemur Boys Are Mean To Their Girls said...

I'm so glad you kicked the dog away from Goldie. Bravo.
Yes Mur dog growled at little des. It was an unhappy moment in an otherwise great visit..He's such a chicken.

airyn said...

irresponsible dog owners just piss me off so much! good on you for protecting your baby, but be sure not to overgeneralize with breeds - not all akitas are aggressive, not all pits are, either, of course. so much of it rests upon the owner. i'm sure the kick didn't damage the akita at all - they're tough, tough dogs!

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