22 September 2006

Missing squirrels

New links are up at Linkateria for the first time in 2 days. Check 'em out.

Yippee kai yay, everybody, it's time to hear about Suebob's trip to the gynie doctor! Make some popcorn and gather round, kids.

First, have I told you about how much I loathe waiting at doctors offices? How very snarly and terrible I can become if forced to wait more than 15 minutes? How my old doctor had a note about what an awful person I was in my medical record? (How do I know that? Because I would be sitting in the exam room and the nurse would meander in, reading my chart. She would look down at the chart, then look up at me and I could always see it in her eyes. The "oh shit" look. The "here it comes" look. Her voice would be high and squeaky as she asked "And how are we today?" while waiting to have her head snapped off by the ogre.)

So you may be surprised to hear that today I waited one hour and 45 minutes PAST my original appointment time with nary a peep. Normally I would have turned into a benzene-spewing puff adder by then.

But I didn't get much sleep last night, so I was able to pass an only slightly uncomfortable hour sleeping in the exam room with my head down on a writing table, resting on my crossed arms a la third-grade-rainy-day-trapped-in-classroom naptime posture.

When my doc finally came in, I had slept about an hour and was too bleary to properly attack, so I decided to just let the whole thing drop. Anyway, I figured this was a person who was going to have her fingers up my hoo-ha in just moments and I thought I had better be polite to avoid any unfortunate incidents.

"So what are you doing for fun lately?" she asked to distract me, shortly before inserting various official-type objects in various places.

I took a deep breath and said that I had been blogging. Blogging is mainstream enough that everyone knows about blogging by now, right?

No, everyone has not heard of blogging.

"What's a blog?" she asked.

So I rambled on while she felt around for whatever they feel around for - missing squirrels or whatnot. I could see her face getting blanker and blanker.

I tried to figure a way to make her understand. This will get her, I thought

"From a medical standpoint, blogging is kind of interesting, because it gives people a way to talk about things that they never talk about otherwise - postpartum depression, breastfeeding, urinary incontinence..." I said.

I could see the skepticism and dismissiveness in her eyes.

"There's a lot of information out there on the internet, a lot of it is junk..."

Then I knew she didn't get it. That our opinions, our stories, our actual real-life experiences were reduced in her mind to the same category as herbal viagra spam and miracle cure websites.

Because what we say isn't approved by an esteemed body and it hasn't undergone peer review - it might as well not exist.

Here's what I have to say in return: hey, dinosaur. The old days are over, those times when people would come in and automatically bow to your white-coat authority.

You're smart, but you're not all-knowing. And I know you want to educate me, but listen up and let your patients educate you back. We have a lot to say. And we're not afraid to say it anymore.

And next time? Don't keep this blogger waiting for an hour and 45 minutes. Or else the ogre will have to snap someone's head off.


Anonymous said...

I couldn't have said it better myself!

I'm so tired of doctors who dismiss anything that hasn't been peer reviewed by 50 other people as narrow minded as they are. And the idea that we might get together and talk about our experiences really should make them nervous...

Bimbo said...

We should start a movement to out their lack of professionalism.

The (Pap) Smear Campaign, "This might be a little cold"

Did you receive an apology? Did you charge for your time? One of these days someone's foot is going to slip off that stirrup.

Anonymous said...

I like your take on this...first, if you don't write a blog, or read blogs, you don't get it. At all. Second, times have changed and nowadays doctors are just people. They've yet to get used to that!!!

Anonymous said...

suebob, we're twins separated at birth. I too seethe when docs make me wait. And I too distrust docs generally. Whereas the white coat impresses lots of folks, it makes me wary. There's no such thing as the miracles of modern medicine. Compared to the complexity of the body, modern medicine is crude.

Have cancer?

Here are your choices:

* Poisoning

* Radiation

* Amputation

And to do these, the docs will suck your bank accounts dry, so they and HMO overseers can build bigger and bigger and bigger mansions.

Wanna know what drives me CRAZY?!?

When a doc walks into the room and says, "Hi, Holly. I'm Dr. Blah."

So, he addresses me by my familiar first name while he introduces himself by his formal title.

"But you have to know who he is," some justifiers try to 'splain. "He tells you he's the doctor so you'll know."

I know who s(he) is. The doc is the one who arrives an hour late and walks into the room reading my chart, too busy to even look at me.

And in the inequity of the introduction, I also know who s(he) is: someone who feels a need to meet me in inequity.

Like a lot of folks, I avoid docs. The human body is largely beyond them. Sure, they understand some causality, but so do I. I eat well and walk everyday and understand that stress kills. And sure, they have a few tricks, but much of the time, they're guessing, regardless of how many double-blind, peer-reviewed studies they have. There's greater complexity in every single cell in my body than there is in the aggregate knowledge of Western medicine.

Anonymous said...

Kristin wrote: "Did you receive an apology? Did you charge for your time?"

That's the ticket. We need to charge them for the delay. The delay is all very calculated. It's all about profit, about scheduling too many appointments for the sake of wealth. If their fee were reduced by every minute we're made to wait, their tardiness would also reduce.

Anonymous said...

I actually look forward to the napping, and love it when they look jealous...
But I am easily amused. And I explain out -of -body experiences and they really listen. Go figger.

Anonymous said...

The last time my Gyno Doc made me wait for over an hour I got up and left and fired his ass.

Then I informed my new doc about my policy and he hasn't kept me waiting.

Mignon said...

Aw man, I thought it was Porn 'n' Corn Friday, but instead here I am all pissed about closed-minded sanctimonious folk. I'm just taking my corn elsewhere on the (full of mis-informed geek-filled) internet to find some smut...

Anonymous said...

Bravo! I hope you show her this post. Those people need have their noses rubbed in how we feel.

Thanks for commenting on my blog. It has a weird problem right now. Over two days of posts have disappeared so I wanted to let you know I did see your comment and the missing days should reappear eventually.

meno said...

"Because what we say isn't approved by an esteemed body and it hasn't undergone peer review - it might as well not exist."

Well, i think we ARE an esteemed body, and we are certainly a peer group and we have reviewed your blog. So there!

It is hard to believe that she had never heard of a blog, wake up and smell the internet.

super des said...

I knew I didn't like squirrels for a reason.

Bamboo Lemur Boys Are Mean To Their Girls said...

Damn girl, I love this post. I too am sick to death of the glazed look of a doctor when you discuss an unapproved opinion or personal fact about your body. That you KNOW. That is TRUE whether they have the proof or not. Gawd they are arrogant close minded fucks sometimes.

billygean.co.uk said...

Good post. And so true, I know exactly what you mean. my weighing experiences piss me off as they make me wait to be weighed when i don't want to be!

j.sterling said...

what are you doing for fun lately?! she was hitting on you. LOL.. bwahahha

SUEB0B said...

Izzy - I can only hope the times they are a'changing. But not fast enough for me.

Kristin - I am making an invoice in MS Word. How much per hour should I charge?

Kvetch - Thank you.

Holly - when is your bday? LOL.

Laurabob - How can you be a good patient when you refuse to get well?

Wendy - right on!

Mignon - since I am celibate at this point, the porn will have to wait.

Lynn- I will check back.

Meno - She must be busy, huh? Even my 80 year old mom knows about blogging.

Des - thank you for noticing. That line made ME laugh but everyone else passed right by.

Gandhi - we are birds of a feather as far as dealing with authority LOL.

Billygean - I advise putting rocks in your pockets.

Jennster - eeew. That is one suspicion about my Gynie that I did NOT need to have. But on the other hand, I don't think that anyone who has ever seen my naked white thighs would ever try to pick up on me.

Suzanne said...

I think it is time to switch doctors. First the woman keeps you waiting an unacceptable long amount of time (my blood began boiling immediately after reading that), then she has no clue what blogging is? Not good.

Anonymous said...

Not cool.

When I was seeing a psych while pregnant with CJ - with the intent of avoiding the same sort of PPD that I had after Tacy was born - she thought my Babycenter Working Moms message board was a fantastic support system. At first, I felt silly telling her about it, but she was so receptive to the idea.

Blogging provides a similar community - a similar support system. Is your doctor also an OB? She really should take note of all the personal anecdotes of PPD out there. If you feel like pushing the envelope with her, let me know. I'll help compile a list of links for you to give her. She might want to educate herself a bit about what patients are actually experiencing - perhaps she might see fit to tailor her manner a bit.

Sorry. Your tale of her dismissiveness got me a little hot.

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