06 December 2006

Frequent Farter Miles

As a vegetarian and someone who produces more than her fair share of noxious emissions, I have got to feel sorry for this woman who lit matches on an airplane.
The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal body odor, Lowrance said. The woman lives near Dallas and has a medical condition.
Yeah, right, a medical condition called Stinko Fartosis. I know it well.

She is just trying to hide her farts and ends up creating an international terrorist incident and is on the American Airlines No Fly List. Poor gal.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

You always blamed the dog when we lived together. Now I know the truth.

super des said...

Doh. But at least she was trying to do something about it.

Anonymous said...

Ha,ha,ha..I agree with regular des who used to be super des.
At least she tried to do the right thing..

Anonymous said...

You win the prize for Funniest Title Ever! Ha. You crack me up, Suebob.

lizgwiz said...

Poor woman. She probably had to resort to matches because they confiscated her Stench-B-Gone aerosol spray at check-in. Hee.

Mignon said...

Now THAT'S why I had kids. I can blame the stench on them.

Anonymous said...

Oh my god. This is hilarios but truly, if you've ever been trapped on a plane with another passenger who has bad gas, I can say I would much rather have them try to cover the stench.

Lynnea said...

mignon is hilarious! I have to fess up here. I was in an aisle at the local Walmart and some gas came out without my permission, but quietly. It smelled. A man passed down the aisle at the same time and a woman entered the aisle, got a funny look and I slyly pointed at the man leaving the aisle. She laughed. I'm such a stinky sneak. Shh, don't tell anyone.

Suzanne said...

My mysterious digestive ailment sometimes causes me to emit stenches that smell like a small furry animal is dying in my ass (I promise that is not the case), so I do feel this woman's pain. On the other hand, unless her illness cause a lack of common sense, I am not sure why she thought lighting a match on a plane was appropriate.

Cristina said...

Stinko Fartosis??

LMAO.

You crack me up. And so does Mr. Stapler.

Anonymous said...

Unless I loudly fart... as a middle school teacher, there are always LOTS of stinky 14 year olds to blame it on.

Anonymous said...

I could NOT stop howling at this whole thing! And dude, I fart a lot. A LOT. But seriously? Lighting a match on the airplane a la Richard Reid? Oh lordy.

carrie said...

Oh my god, that is hilarious!!!

Carrie

Anonymous said...

Heeehe! Awesome.

And, though I just moved to Dallas, it was NOT me. I know you were thinking it.

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