There’s an old Native American saying that I quoted in We’re All Doing Time: “If you seek to understand the whole Universe, you will understand nothing. If you seek to understand yourself, you will understand the whole Universe.”My favorite few words from A Course in Miracles, ones that I have been trying to learn deeply, have been "Everyone teaches, and teaches all the time."
This principle applies in a related way to Bible study and the study of any religious principles. If we seek to memorize chapter and verse, if we seek to discuss and argue about abstract passages that have endless interpretations, we will understand nothing. But if we take a few words of any bible and pray on them, wrestle with them, struggle over them for years, however long it takes to experience their meaning in our hearts, then we will understand the whole bible from which those few words come.
Meaning that no matter what you are doing, you are teaching. If you think you are bullshitting the world by putting your best face on, the world still knows. The world can see you right through the act. You might fool them for a while, but eventually you will show your true colors.
This is a lesson I obviously have to work on a lot. I think I am so good at putting on a show. Many times I even fool myself. For a while. But honesty is honesty and lies are lies, and there is a lot of distance between the two and the distance is filled with pain and shame and ugliness.
The less I lie to the world, the more likeable I am to good, honest people. And the rest shouldn't concern me, should they?
I'm sick of my lying face. It hurts to peel that crap off. But if I want to be really alive, I can't be afraid of who I am and I can't be afraid to show others who I am. Do you really want to know?