20 August 2007

Fernando's Hideaway

I came home to find a tiny Taco Bell Chihuahua dog strolling the street in front of my house all macho-like. He was only about 8 inches tall, but he had him a massive set of cojones for such a little guy.

No collar, no nothing. Apparently lost, but friendly. And in addition to vowing to help abused women, I have also vowed to help stray dogs. Damn all these vows! So much trouble.

I scooped up SeƱor Dog. As I did it, I imagined getting bitten on the neck by an enraged chihuahua - I'm not used to having dogs you can pick up in one hand, and I didn't know how he would react - but he was fine.

I put him in the house and I went back outside and tried to block the obvious high spots under the fence, since little Macho Man could fit easily squeeze under much of it, not a problem I have with Goldie.

And Goldie loved him. She is a bit tetchy with other female dogs, especially larger dogs who can challenge her Top Bitch status. But give her a tiny boy dog whose head she can fit into her massive maw, and she will play all day long.

She actually does love to put their little heads in her mouth, which is unnerving for other dog owners to see, but she never hurts them.

As the dogs romped and got spit all over each other, I got out the markers and poster board and made a sign.

(The reason I have markers and poster board on hand is that I am an aging hippie liberal who may need to go to a war/environmental/whatever protest at the drop of a hat. I am not joking.)

"FOUND: DOG male chihuahua. Inquire here."

As I was putting up the sign, the dog owners, a couple of 20-something guys, came looking for him. They were extra super happy to see him, so happy that I blanked on giving them the lecture about how neutered male dogs don't wander like intact ones.

They told me his name was Fernando. As soon as they got him out the gate, he changed from Goldie's little friend to The Enemy on the Other Side of the Gate, and she turned into a snapping, snarling beast, lunging at the fence. They looked at me like "How could you let our little Fernando in there with that dog?"

I had forgotten that Goldie's rule is that dogs on the other side of fences must be attacked. But dogs on the same side of the fence are pals. It must be weird to have a brain the size of a walnut.


BetteJo said...

You got me with that last sentence - I'm still laughing - out loud!

Assertagirl said...

Wow, some good shit should be coming your way...all these good deeds!

Nancy said...

Fernando -- do you think they named him after the ABBA song? ;-)

MsLittlePea said...

I was wondering about that ABBA song too!

I love that you keep posters and markers on standby-just in case.

Grace said...

My boys are the same way. Our neighbors have two dogs, and if everyone is in the same yard, or out for a walk together, its friends all around, but if they are on their side of the fence and Leo and Ata are on ours, the gloves are totally off.

What kind of dog is Goldie? I'm trying to picture my boys playing with an 8 inch Taco Bell dog and laughing my ass off.w

SUEB0B said...

Grace - Goldie is a tall, skinny 65 lb greyhound/lab mix. She was about 10 times the size of Fernando, so yes, it was hilarious.

lizgwiz said...

My dog Sadie (who died last year of lung cancer, sniff) was the same way. She'd snarl like hell at anyone on the wrong side of the fence or window (good lord, did she hate the mailman), but wiggle like crazy and lick anyone who came inside. Which I think is the perfect way for a dog to be--who wouldn't think twice before intruding into that? But my friends knew they were in no danger.

Mir said...

It IS weird to have a brain the size of a walnut. I speak from experience.

Who are you, again?

Alex Elliot said...

I'm so glad that you helped Fernando out! How's your neck? My dog got hit by a car when I was 10 and I remember all the neighbors saying that they say him running loose. Apparently a couple of them even petted him. I remember wondering why they didn't help him. Since then I always try and help lost dogs.

meno said...

I guess Goldie and i are destined to fight. Because i AM the Top Bitch.

I say the same about my cats, but i use an almond as the exemplar.

TB said...

How utterly adorable for two gay guys to have a dog named Fernando. I love it.

And both of the two times we have had to put up someone's dog in our yard and then search for the owners they were less than grateful. What is wrong with people?

QT said...

"There was something in the air that night..."


I am a dog rescuer too - can't help it, it's int he blood.

One Scrappy Gal said...

There was something in the air that night... the stars were bright... Fernando...

A chihuahua is a dog for lazy people. You don't even have to walk them. You just hold them out the window and squeeze. (I take no credit for that joke... it was said by some other comedian).

Thanks for the laugh. :)

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