Fernando's Hideaway

I came home to find a tiny Taco Bell Chihuahua dog strolling the street in front of my house all macho-like. He was only about 8 inches tall, but he had him a massive set of cojones for such a little guy.

No collar, no nothing. Apparently lost, but friendly. And in addition to vowing to help abused women, I have also vowed to help stray dogs. Damn all these vows! So much trouble.

I scooped up Señor Dog. As I did it, I imagined getting bitten on the neck by an enraged chihuahua - I'm not used to having dogs you can pick up in one hand, and I didn't know how he would react - but he was fine.

I put him in the house and I went back outside and tried to block the obvious high spots under the fence, since little Macho Man could fit easily squeeze under much of it, not a problem I have with Goldie.

And Goldie loved him. She is a bit tetchy with other female dogs, especially larger dogs who can challenge her Top Bitch status. But give her a tiny boy dog whose head she can fit into her massive maw, and she will play all day long.

She actually does love to put their little heads in her mouth, which is unnerving for other dog owners to see, but she never hurts them.

As the dogs romped and got spit all over each other, I got out the markers and poster board and made a sign.

(The reason I have markers and poster board on hand is that I am an aging hippie liberal who may need to go to a war/environmental/whatever protest at the drop of a hat. I am not joking.)

"FOUND: DOG male chihuahua. Inquire here."

As I was putting up the sign, the dog owners, a couple of 20-something guys, came looking for him. They were extra super happy to see him, so happy that I blanked on giving them the lecture about how neutered male dogs don't wander like intact ones.

They told me his name was Fernando. As soon as they got him out the gate, he changed from Goldie's little friend to The Enemy on the Other Side of the Gate, and she turned into a snapping, snarling beast, lunging at the fence. They looked at me like "How could you let our little Fernando in there with that dog?"

I had forgotten that Goldie's rule is that dogs on the other side of fences must be attacked. But dogs on the same side of the fence are pals. It must be weird to have a brain the size of a walnut.