20 April 2008

Another God joke

A United States Senator who worked hard for many years to serve his constituents dies while in office.

When he gets to heaven, God tells him that he has done a good job and that he wants to reward him.

"Senator, your reward that you can ask me one question. Is there anything you would like to ask?"

The Senator thinks for a moment and then says, "Well, yes, there is. One thing I always wanted to do while I was in office was to ensure health care for everyone. Will the people of the United States ever get universal health care?"

"Yes," God says. "But not in my lifetime."


I have a small kitchen and don't have much specialized cooking equipment or dinnerware. But one thing I always look forward to getting down from the high shelf is the asparagus platter, for that means that spring is here!

The plate is designed for steamed asparagus. The little impressions of asparagus on the plate allow any clinging water to channel away from the spears. And the pocket on the side is for delicious sauce.

My favorite way of making asparagus is to roast it under the broiler or in a hot oven. Coat the spears with a little olive oil, put them under the broiler and turn them as they start to get brown and spotty. Take them out when they have a few brown spots all over. I like the big fat juicy ones.

For sauce I have recently become addicted to mayo with a little Smoked Spanish Paprika mixed in. Ok, a lot of Smoked Spanish Paprika (I use about 1/2 tsp to every 2 tbsp of mayo). It tasted better if you make the sauce a few hours before so the paprika can meld with the mayo. It is also a pretty pink red color. Cross-posted at Snackish


The new washer? It is large. It is quiet. It has 5 speeds. It will pre-soak and do 2 rinses. I am having a passionate affair with the new washer. Something that feels so right just can't be wrong, can it?

I put the old one out on the curb on Weds. and called the trash company to pick it up, which I thought would be on trash day (Friday). Nope, pick-up day is Tuesday.

If I lived in a normal neighborhood, I would worry about neighbors flipping over looking at an old washer for a week. But I live here in Dead Shopping Cartville, so no worries.

Actually, my main concern was that some needy person would go to the trouble of hauling it home and hooking it up, only to find out about all its "issues."

So I put a sign on it in english and spanish - "Works but leaks and makes A LOT of noise." (Sirve pero se sale agua y hace mucho ruido - feel free to correct my Spanish).

No matter. It was gone within 24 hours. God bless the scavengers of this world.


Hilly said...

I'm kind of in love with your asparagus plate!

super des said...

We had a good unwritten system in Davis. If something was outside a dumpster, it was worth taking. If it was *inside* the dumpster, it was broken and not worth it.

meno said...

I fear that god is right, but i hope not.

g said...

I love that plate!! so cool! I can just see a nice blob of golden aoili there!

and I love asparagus. We just recently grilled some with some London Broil - you skewer them in little "rafts" and then brush them with the oil and seasoning of your choice (we used sesame oil and soy) and put them on the grill. Mmmm!

Kizz said...

Dude, that joke's just not funnny.

Dead Shopping Cartville, is that near Wapping on Thames?

Andrea said...

And I just bought a bunch of asparagus yesterday. Will need to try the saucy stuff.

Andrea said...

And the joke: noooooooo!

Suzanne said...

Your asparagus recipe - yum. Reference to Dead Cartville - hilarious. Husband recently bought a book called "The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification." It is funny. Perhaps you can write the western guide?

mar said...

mmmm, yummay! that asparagus dish kicks! i just realized a couple weeks ago that if you snap off the stalks, not cut them & you avoid that woody bit. derrr...

gael said...

Okay, now MY derrr...
I have not been without at least one full tin of smoked paprika since I learned about it (from Chef Maegen Loring at The Park Restaurant) about 3 or 4 years ago. But did I ever consider adding it to mayo??!
I'll turn in my knife roll of which I am obviously undeserving.

soupisnotafingerfood said...

Hmmm, would that smoked spanish paprika be from..... PENZEY'S???!!!

soupisnotafingerfood said...

Hmmm, would that smoked spanish paprika be from..... PENZEY'S???!!!

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