Employer: Come and work for us! If you work hard and stick around, we will take care of you in retirement. We have money set aside!
Sb: Great! A deal just like my dad had. Sweet!
Employer: Um, we lost the money by investing in a jojoba bean farm.
(I am not making this up).
Employer: We finally decided that, since we don't have a retirement plan, we're going to let you invest your OWN money. How does that sound?
Sb: I really don't know anything about investing.
Employer: No problem, we have an investment advisor!
Sb: It doesn't seem like I am making much money off these investments
Investment Advisor: You need to invest in the internet! Everyone is doing it!
Sb: Are you sure?
Investment Advisor: You would be stupid not to!
Sb: OMG I am getting rich! This is great!
Sb: What do you mean, my Pets.com stock is worthless! Impossible!
(There was sobbing! Then 9/11 happened! Life was horrible and scary! I fell in love! I quit my job! I moved! I went back to school!)
New Employer: We offer excellent benefits including a 6% 401k match
Sb: Sign me up! And I'm so happy that the stock market has stabilized somewhat. Everything is good now, right?
Investment Advisor: You have to invest for the long term.
Sb: And I had better put in every spare penny because I have to make up for lost time!
Government: Oh, hai, we let the banks and investment houses get all tangled up and it's kinda complicated, but the economy is screwed and we're going to use your tax dollars to fix everything, m'kay?
Sb: My retirement plans include a van parked down by the river and a simple, starchy diet.
How about you?