19 November 2008

Talking to old people

Not making this up. If it doesn't make sense to you, don't hurt your brain trying to follow along. It doesn't follow - which is what I get to deal with every single day.

Sb: That Four Seasons Westlake is really nice. I went there today.
Mom: Yes?
Sb: Yeah, it has a huge water feature - a fountain that is about 30 feet high and maybe 200 feet wide, like a huge rock wall.
Dad: There is another fountain over there in Westlake, or there was one about 1970. It is a guy on a horse, a Western one.
Mom: Did you go for a boat ride?
Sb: Huh?
Mom: In the lake.
Sb: There isn't a lake. The fountain just ends in a pond, it isn't big enough for a boat.
Dad: I don't know if the horse fountain had water. I never saw it. Some guys told me about it.
Mom: We drove by that Westlake on the way from Uncle Bob's and there were boats all over it.
Sb: The Four Seasons isn't on Westlake. It is in Westlake Village.
Dad: That lake is pretty big. I don't know if I could call it a pond.
Sb: Yes, Westlake is pretty big. But I wasn't at Westlake. I was at the Four Seasons.
Mom: I thought you said Westlake.
Sb: Westlake Village.
Mom: You should have taken a boat ride. That would have been nice. Maybe next time you can go on a boat.
Dad: I guess they took that horse statue out when they put that waterfall in.


Susan C said...

Hilarious. You can't make up this stuff.

Gwen said...

Chuckles. That's not too different from talking to five year olds.

Swistle said...

I love this. I laughed and laughed---right before the waves of fear started rolling over me.

Glennis said...

Ain't it the truth. I'm just back in LA after spending a week with my 83 year old Mom.

the very old share certain traits with the very young - possessiveness about trivial objects (my blistex, my pencil with the special eraser, the socks I like best), impatience about having something they want NOW, and obsession with their bodily functions,

We were moving her from her home into an assisted living facility. It felt just like dropping your kid off at camp - I was agonizing whether she'd get along with the other kids.

LittlePea said...

For a second I thought I was reading a conversation with my long past Grandparents. So funny.

Anonymous said...

Sadly I have conversations like that with family members who are neither elderly nor children.

Bamboo Lemur Boys Are Mean To Their Girls said...

oh my god I love this

Project Christopher said...

I followed it perfectly! Of course I took care of my mom and her husband the last couple of years of her life and I speak oldspeakese. :)

Suzanne said...

It's not just old people! I feel like I have conversations like that with my parents all the time. I think it is a parent-child thing. :)

Anonymous said...


Well, you gonna go on a boat or what?

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