Who did for you?

Over at Flawed but Authentic, Kelly asks about people who inspired you when you were a young person. She tells about some teachers who made a difference when she was a high school student and already a mother:

Small things like bonfires and cocoa and laughter fill my memory bank and it may seem silly, but I am forever grateful. They fortified my belief in myself and my contribution to the world (they were the best kind of hippies) but also invigorated my conviction that I wasn’t a Throw Away. As confidence builders, they were extraordinary.

I had to comment about one of my favorite all-time teachers:

Mr. Robert Drew, my HS creative writing teacher. He did not use letter grades but instead employed symbols - an exclamation point for something that was good, two exclamation points for something wonderful and the beloved H (two joined exclamation points) for something truly stellar.

He taught gently, respectfully. You could read your work aloud in class or he would, or if you did not want him to, he would keep your privacy.

He treated paper as if it were magical, walking around the class with paper offered on his outstretched palms. You could take it or not take it. We all took it because we knew the paper from class was somehow better than paper from the outside world.

He died in my senior year. I still miss him.

Losing Mr. Drew unexpectedly was my first experience with grief. Because I was a bratty high schooler, I never properly thanked him. I only hope that in the cosmic scheme of things, he is somehow aware that I finally became a writer and that I think of him quite often.

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Who did for you?

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And in case you never make it over to Linkateria, here is a video that made me laugh and laugh. Gotta hand it to the Japanese for wacky game shows.

Things I thought I would never be

I never thought I would be a Twitter person, but now it is part of my life. My name over there is suebob, if you want to follow me.

I thought it was the stupidest damn thing I had ever heard of, especially when I heard that people were receiving tweets (TWEETS! I said "tweets," a stupid name if I have ever heard one. God help me) as text messages. I imagined getting alerted 600x a day to some sily 140 character nonsense.

But now that I have been bitten by the Twitter Vampire, I see that it is more like the cracker barrel at the Olde Country Mercantile - a gathering spot to shoot the shit breeze all day and all night - but in this case I don't have to put on my overalls and drag my butt down to meet my cronies. My cronies are virtual.

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I never thought I would text while standing in line, either, since I considered myself superior to those geekazoids that I saw doing it.

Peets Counterguy: Um, I'll help you NOW??

Suebob: (looks up confused) Where am I?

Peets Counterguy: Would you like a delicious coffee beverage?

Suebob: Uh, yeah, I was just...what was I doing? I'm sorry.

Peets Counterguy: That's a Crackberry, isn't it?

Suebob: I'm sorry. I won't do it again.

Peets Counterguy: How OLD are you? Leave txting to the young, ma'am. It is not for your kind.

Suebob: You're right, you're right. I don't know what I was thinking.

Peets Counterguy: Next time you come in here, I want to see you with one of those simple cell phones with the big buttons, okay?

Suebob: (meekly) Okay.

I would not have voted for Tracy Flick, either

It's not her hair.
It's not her voice.
It's not her age, or her wrinkles.
It's not her relationship with her cheating husband.

I'm disappointed in Hillary Clinton as a candidate.

In my mind, she has been suspect ever since she arrived in New York to run for Senator.

She hasn't done anything to assuage my suspicions.

• She agreed not to count Michigan and Florida, but changed her mind once she "won."
  
• She used her husband as an attack dog when she didn't want to look mean - Bill said Obama winning South Carolina was nothing "Jesse Jackson won there, too." (Translation: any black person can win SC).
  
• She claims she has 35 years "experience" - at WHAT? She also claims the media is too nice to Obama, but have they ever totted up this so-called "experience"? Why not?
  
• She put out the first fear-mongering campaign ad. The children! Think of the children!
  
• She has said "Day One" so many times that it is beginning to sound like Rudy Giuliani's "9-11".
  

In other words, she makes me wonder if Karl Rove is secretly running her campaign. It sounds all too familiar. Business as usual. Business as dirty.

Meanwhile, Obama has acted in a fairly consistent gentlemanly manner.

Maybe Hillary is right. Maybe he is too naive to be president. He acts like a decent human, after all.

Menagerie

First the goats the other night, now a horse in the corner grocery. I am not kidding - this is kind of a bad photo but check the silhouette.

Yes, that is a horse in the doorway. Do you have a guess? I don't.

Pay attention, parents

I'm only trying to help, parents. I'm on YOUR side. I'm not one of you, but that is to your advantage, because I haven't drunk the same Koolaid that you have been drinking. Trust cranky old Auntie Suebob, because I had perfect parents who taught me:

1. Children do NOT need a birthday party every single year. A 3-year-old does not need a party that requires invitations and planning. Cake, ice cream, family, a present or two. STOP AT THAT POINT. Nothing else is required. THEY WILL NOT REMEMBER THE PARTY OR THE LACK THEREOF. Promise. Relax. Breathe.

2. You do not need to attend every single birthday party of every single classmate, kid on the soccer team and child that you are in some way associated with. Free yourself! Take the weekend off the party circuit.

3. You are not responsible for entertaining your children. Children are self-entertaining devices. If they aren't, you are doing it wrong. If they are "bored" make them clean house. That was my mom's favorite trick. We learned to quit saying we were bored.

4. Your child's school project is his or her responsibility. You may contribute by purchasing supplies. STOP THERE. If their project is not as good as their classmates', at least they have the pride of doing it for themselves. Teachers KNOW whose parents do all the work for them, believe me. They are not stupid.

What are you teaching your kid by doing it for them? That mommy/daddy will always bail them out? Yeah, keep doing that and see how much fun it will be to bail them out when they have a $50k rehab bill.

5. Kids don't believe what you say. They believe what you DO. They are so freaking smart that way.

6. What other people are doing isn't important. Stick to your beliefs, your morals, your ethics (assuming you have some). YOU are the adult. YOU are in charge. Your kids need to know that someone is running the ship, and they will ultimately be happier if it is you, not them.

Ok, 6 pieces of excellent advice are enough for one post. Remember, I'm not a parenting expert, but I play one in my head.