28 May 2010

Friday Crankies

At the checkout stand, I wonder

  • Does anyone actually believe that you can lose 42 pounds in 2 weeks (without surgery)?

  • Why do magazine articles have to give you an odd number of hints? "7 Ways to Better Blowjobs" "Nine Shortcuts to a Cleaner Baby" etc.

  • Why do women's magazines so often feature a cover with a 12,000 calorie dessert AND a diet plan?


  • Does the fact that I like Tic-Tacs make me 78 years old?

  • Is there some kind of Kardashian of the Week club? I can't keep all these skanks straight!

  • There's nothing quite as cheering as Stars Without Makeup.


Count Mockula said...

Two things: I was just in the grocery store a few nights ago, and the woman behind me commented to friends about one of the magazine headlines, which was (really!) "Lose 22 pounds in a week." I told her that, coincidentally, that's how much I'd lost in five months.

Also, my women's studies/journalism professor says the fatty recipe/diet article is absolutely intentional -- they fatten you up so that you feel you NEED them for the diet, and create this shame spiral of neediness.

grace said...

Re: Tic-tacs, no. If Tic-tacs are wrong, I don't wanna be right.

Re: Kardashians, LOL.

meno said...

I miss The National Enquirer. At least i got to keep up on who is having Elvis' alien love child this week.

What is a Kardashian and why are they famous? Do i even care?

Denise said...

I have to confess that I probably enjoy the 'Stars Without Makeup' bits more than I should.

Jason, as himself said...

Yes. You are 78 years old. And so am I, because I can't stay out past nine anymore.

Jessica said...

Keeping up with the Skankdashians!

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