16 October 2010

And get off my lawn!

I'm at the Creative Alliance 10 conference this weekend. I know it is kind of de rigeur to say, when attending a conference, especially a brand new conference, how amazing and wonderful and more special than any other conference it is and how you just can't imagine how you'd ever miss this because of the sisterhood and closeness and OK OK WILL YOU STOP BECAUSE WE WEREN'T THERE AND YOU'RE EITHER MAKING US JEALOUS OR IRRITATED AND WILL YOU PLEASE  NOW NOT GO INTO ALL THE SWAG YOU GOT BECAUSE THAT CRAP IS SERIOUSLY ANNOYING.

So I'm not going to do that. It is in a gorgeous posh home slash vacation rental slash retreat center, in the mountains above Ojai with a little creek and oak trees and white sage.

It is well-organized and there are great people there and there's a lot of talking and energy and sharing good information.

But I'm having a hard time and it's not them. It's me.

I'm off my game. I feel kind of unplugged and weird.

Part of it IS them. These are a bunch of amazing women who are smart and capable and who are making their blogs do tricks and jump around and make money, while my blog just sits here and looks at me.

So THAT's intimidating. I'm like "My blog? It has a URL and that's about it. BUT IT IS A GOOD BLOG AND TO ME IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BLOG IN THE WHOLE WIDE UNIVERSE SO THERE."

The other thing is that I don't get out much anymore. I've been working at home and not actually seeing many real live people, and I think I have fallen into some weird Pajama Zone where real life feels surreal and virtual life feels real.

So when I get out there in the real surreal world, my timing is off, the way I relate is just oddly filtered...It's like I have self-induced Asperger's or something (no insult to Aspie people or any wonderful Aspie children you may have. People with Asperger's are wonderful and unique and I love what they contribute to the world. Do not hurt me.)

And then I had to do the cranky old person thing. During introductions - which went on for approximately 16 hours yesterday, while we were sitting on the floor of a yurt (I am not making this up) (well not the yurt part anyway), I chided - chided!! - people for screwing around with their cell phones and laptops while other people talked.

I was just sick of ADD culture where it is ok to check your mail while someone is pouring out their deepest dreams to you. So I was the one to say it. "You damned kids and your technology! In my day, we had to PASS NOTES if we wanted to talk while someone was speaking."

Ok, I didn't say it that way. But still. I said it. In a group, everyone has to be something. The funny one, the organizer, the helpful one. I'm the cranky one. My name is Suebob. Glad to meet you.


becky s said...

Hahah - this is why I love you. I would be the same way about my blog. It won't make me famous or make me more than $50 in any given year. Or maybe decade. But it's all mine, neglect and all.

Susan C said...

Well, I must be a curmudgeon too because that playing with toys while others are talking thing REALLY annoys me.

Unknown said...

I'd give my left arm to be there. (I'm right handed, so not too big of a loss, but a loss nonetheless.) I'd be happy to be there and grumpy with you.

Devra said...

I'm not only proud to know you, I am proud to introduce you to anyone else I know.

You are an amazing, smart, capable woman. You also have fabulous manners. I love manners. It's not cranky to remind others to mind their manners. Netiquette just isn't the same as manners IRL.
Manners rock. And so do you!

Al_Pal said...

Hooray. Thank you for standing up for manners and regard.
I don't think that's cranky at all. ;)

Mariah said...

Thank you for posting this. I get so fed up with people on their phones / emails at the wrong time.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I'm just glad that you got to use the whole "Get off of my lawn!" line. I love that one so much.

I wish I had been there with you - in your yurt (whatever the fuck that is) being chided for tweeting.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Alternately -

Every party has a pooper that's why w invited you, Suebob Banks.

Laurie said...

Sorry man. I was totally listening, but that skeeball game happened when I started freaking out about sitting still for so long, something I can barely do for ten minutes as-is.

I did keep making notes in my notebook, because some of the stuff I was hearing I just didn't want to forget. It was a big deal for me to be off of the laptop for most of the weekend. That's my social connection and frequently my paycheck, so right or wrong it's been integrated into my being without even realizing it. I think it's fine to tell people how you feel about it, and I appreciated the opportunity the weekend gave me to check my behaviors...it's just a tough balance, that's all. I'm fairly certain you're a more evolved being than most anyway, fairly confident that I'll never feel equally so. :)

Suzanne said...

I'm pretty sure that I love your blog (and Laurie) more than any other person's at that conference. And I am jealous that you were in a yurt. Yurts rule.

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