They let the intern dude title this one

My favorite all-time head exploding moment

This is an oldie, but something I will never forget.

I went to Taco Bell back when they first had Chalupas. I thought "Hey, I'll try me one of them Chalupa things!"

Me: I would like a Chalupa with no meat.

Pimply Counter Boy: A chalupa with no meat.

He somberly regarded his cash register for a moment. Apparently there were only buttons for "Beef Chalupa" and "Chicken Chalupa" then a "minus" button.

Pimply Counter Boy: Would you like it without beef, or without chicken?

Me: (stuffing fist in my mouth to keep from shrieking with laughter) What is the difference?

Pimply Counter Boy: (totally serious, of course) Without beef is $1.29. Without chicken is $1.49.

Me: (tears beginning to form, gasping) Well, I guess I will have it without beef.

I'm sorry, I have to do this

For the funny stuff, scroll down to previous posts.

I'm sorry. I just feel I have to commemorate the 20th Anniversary of the meltdown at Chernobyl some way. I am feeling so crushed by it. Part of it is personal - the time that Chernobyl happened was one of the suckiest Springs of my life - but then there's something about a nuclear meltdown that is a bit of a bummer, generally (to put it in So Cal terms).

The brave Elena's website about her motorcycle trips in the Chernobyl area is a good place to start. Her spare text and plentiful photos give a good look at the ghostly spectacle that the nuclear wasteland still is.

For basic info about the accident if you are young or if you have forgotten, Chernobyl Info has the facts.

Slate has a photo essay of beautiful and horrifying images of people affected by the disaster.

If you have some spare cash, consider a donation to one of the charities helping Chernobyl survivors. Unfortunately, they will need help for some time to come. At least 300 years.

No, how to make MY head explode

I wasn't going to post this. No, I was going to be all nice and shit and let it go. But inspired by IzzyMom's How to Make My Head Explode post, I feel I must relay this.

It is a transcript of a live chat with Natasha, a representative of an online traffic school. I absolutely swear to you that I am not making this up.

RedStapler: Hi. I took your online traffic school and went to a UPS store and took my in-person test and passed with a score of 80%. The confirmation I got said you would transmit the results electronically to the traffic court. But my traffic court demands that I get the certificate, sign it, and deliver it in person. Please help.

Natasha: What county?

RedStapler: (Insert my county here)

Natasha: Hang on. (Five minutes go by).

Natasha: Ok. You have to take the in-person test.

RedStapler: I already did.

Natasha: You have to go to a UPS store and take a test in person.

RedStapler: I took the test in person at a UPS store.

Natasha: You didn't finish the course.

RedStapler: I finished the course, I went to the UPS store, and I took the test.

Natasha: Our records show you didn't take the test.

RedStapler: (pissed) As I said, I took the test and got confirmation that I passed. If you want, I will fax it to you.

Natasha: What was your score?

RedStapler: (pissed again) Once again, 80%. I will fax you the confirmation if you need proof.

Natasha: Once you take the test, we will send you your certificate of completion.

RedStapler: Look. I took the test. I passed the test. I got confirmation that I passed. Now I need the certificate.

Natasha: Oh, wait? You have already taken the test? Do you have the certificate of completion or just the test paperwork?

RedStapler: Give me your fax number. I will fax you the confirmation and you can send me the certificate.

Natasha: You should call our 800 number for advanced support. Maybe they can help you.

Ok, folks, I think we have seen enough here. I demanded the fax number a few more times, got it, ended up calling the 800 number and talking to a fabulously competent (by comparison) person who said my certificate was on the way.

I still can't decide if Natasha didn't speak english well (my suspicion, since she gave me the 800 number like this: 800-667-60-23, which is not the way we do it here) or if she was messing with me for sport.

In any case, my head did not quite explode, nor did I lose it with Natasha and begin shrieking, or even questioning her IQ in all caps. I believe that level of consideration and composure should earn me a brownie from St. Peter when I get to the gates of heaven.

Milestones and other fun ideas

My dad went to his annual high school reunion yesterday. He graduated 70 years ago. Yowza. Needless to say, there weren't too many other members of his class there. I think he had a good time being King of the Old Guys.

I want a new drug. One that won't make me sick. One that won't make me quote J. Geils. I just think that when your first word in the morning is "F*********ck" maybe you oughta try something different. Any suggestions for inner peace, harmony and fun?

Anyway, I will send out some link love for my peeps.

Defective Yeti shares memories of Farrell's Ice Cream, the birthday party joint of legend long before Chuck E. Cheese came along. I am sure many "Zoos" were lost in the car on the way home.

Untitled Life wants a baby and wants one bad. If you believe in prayer, juju or good vibrations, send some her way. You could also buy some of her hilarious "WFT" gear to pay for her hormone shots.

Madness Rivera has a sweet baby story, but even more amazing, CHECK OUT THE SIZE OF THAT CAT!

Mrs. Kennedy has new Fussy t-shirts all ready for your spring wear. Some for kids, too. Get one and be the coolest blogger on the block.

I found the saddest little corner of the internet. I guess it's supposed to be funny. It's pretty much just sad.

I never knew that being a librarian was so hard. But she makes it pretty clear that the library is not, as you might think, a repository for genius-in-training but rather a haven for the weird.