Do you read Jonniker? Goodness gracious why not? She does stream-of-consciousness like no one since Kerouac.
She just posted about stinky perfume. Cologne that YOU think is okay but that you later find your loved ones think smells like you have been forgetting to bathe.
Most of the cologne she refers to contains my least favorite scent (besides rotting goat cheese, as I found out Saturday morning when I was cleaning out some tupperwares from the week's work lunches), the evil patchouli.
Story time: Once upon a time, I was standing in my friend The Dutchess's kitchen. Her roommate, the Evil Mike, came in and gave me a hug. (Please note: normally, I do not comment on how people smell, no matter how bad it is. But this was super special).
Suebob: Gaaaaah!
Evil Mike: Whut?
Suebob: You smell...terrible. Awful. Oh my god, I got it ON me.
Evil Mike: Huh?
Suebob: You smell like...Patchouli!!
Evil Mike: Well some days I go on long bike rides and I don't have time to take a shower, so I just put on some patchouli oil to cover it up.
Suebob: Gaaah!
Evil Mike: You mean it doesn't work?
**********
Am I right people? Where do you stand on the patchouli issue?? (R. - you are exempt from my contempt. I love you despite your patchouli obsession. Which is saying something).
25 February 2008
24 February 2008
22 February 2008
21 February 2008
Hillary's Scary Idea
When I arrived home at Casa de Suebob tonight, I was wet, tired and hungry, but not furious.
THAT didn't last long.
I got out of the car and went to the mailbox, which is one of the kind about the size and shape of a cereal box but with a flip-up lid on top.
It had been raining all day and the lid was left up, which turned the mailbox into sort of a lidless bucket. The wad of mail - and I do mean "wad" - inside had turned to a greyish ball the texture of papier mache.
It was the second time that had happened this month.
I stomped into the house, wrote a note, put it in a plastic ziplock bag and clipped it to the front of the mailbox.
"If it is raining, please put the lid down," I wrote, not adding "you stupid piece of donkey crap" as I was very, very tempted to do.
I did realize, however, that the incompetent letter carrier was in control of whether I receive my mail or not, so restraint was in order if I ever wanted to get my credit card bill.
Take a vast leap of imagination with me and let me say that this is why I am deeply skeptical about Universal Health Care.
While I love the idea of every American having access to good, affordable health care, I fear having employees that are on the public payroll in charge of it.
I think of every filthy, glacially slow and inept Social Security office I have ever visited; the barely functioning drones at the post office; the hell that is the DMV - and I think - "Do I want these people poking around in my innards if I get appendicitis?"
I would almost rather poke around my OWN insides should I get something that requires surgery on my front side. Or let the butcher at the carniceria down the street operate if I have to have another spinal surgery. He seems clean and good with his hands.
But federal employees? Hell no. I have seen what they can do with a handful of mail.
THAT didn't last long.
I got out of the car and went to the mailbox, which is one of the kind about the size and shape of a cereal box but with a flip-up lid on top.
It had been raining all day and the lid was left up, which turned the mailbox into sort of a lidless bucket. The wad of mail - and I do mean "wad" - inside had turned to a greyish ball the texture of papier mache.
It was the second time that had happened this month.
I stomped into the house, wrote a note, put it in a plastic ziplock bag and clipped it to the front of the mailbox.
"If it is raining, please put the lid down," I wrote, not adding "you stupid piece of donkey crap" as I was very, very tempted to do.
I did realize, however, that the incompetent letter carrier was in control of whether I receive my mail or not, so restraint was in order if I ever wanted to get my credit card bill.
Take a vast leap of imagination with me and let me say that this is why I am deeply skeptical about Universal Health Care.
While I love the idea of every American having access to good, affordable health care, I fear having employees that are on the public payroll in charge of it.
I think of every filthy, glacially slow and inept Social Security office I have ever visited; the barely functioning drones at the post office; the hell that is the DMV - and I think - "Do I want these people poking around in my innards if I get appendicitis?"
I would almost rather poke around my OWN insides should I get something that requires surgery on my front side. Or let the butcher at the carniceria down the street operate if I have to have another spinal surgery. He seems clean and good with his hands.
But federal employees? Hell no. I have seen what they can do with a handful of mail.
20 February 2008
What not to wear, Suebob-style
I'm not exactly a fashionista, but it doesn't take Carson Kressley to spot these fashion faux pas:
If you're going for the tough Harley rider look, try something other than tasseled loafers for footwear. It totally ruins the effect.
Your formal wedding will surely be marred if you forget to tuck in your tail. Your husband's rude friends may start drunkenly commenting on what a dog he is marrying.
If you're going for the tough Harley rider look, try something other than tasseled loafers for footwear. It totally ruins the effect.
Your formal wedding will surely be marred if you forget to tuck in your tail. Your husband's rude friends may start drunkenly commenting on what a dog he is marrying.
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