01 May 2010

Modern Motherhood

Nancy at aqua aerobics was telling me how her daughter, who is 16, had come home late from a movie with her boyfriend.

Nancy was already in bed.

"I heard them come in and heard them talking, then it got quiet, but I didn't hear him leave. So I texted her and told her Aaron had to go home. She texted me back 'No cuddling?' and I texted her 'NO.'"

She texted her daughter so she didn't have to get up out of bed and face the boyfriend in her PJs.

Who says technology isn't making life better?

30 April 2010

WTF Friday

Things I Just Don't Get

  • The appeal of "The Jersey Shore"

  • Classic Rock Stations. Ok, every once in a while. But ALL THE TIME?

  • People who don't like dogs

Goldie stuck her head in the trash can that had hair dye in it.
I mean, who DOESN'T like an animal who sticks their head in the trash can that has hair dye in it and manages to dye their own neck?
  • My neighbor and his earth-rattling subwoofers

  • Surfers who are mad at kitesurfers and stand-up-paddlers because they are on "their" waves

  • Almost every Facebook game

  • The sheer over-the-top ugliness of the Pontiac Aztek

  • Why prisons won't order DNA tests for people due to be executed who request them. Do they not want to be sure if they are killing the right person?

28 April 2010

Dear Spammers

My readers are not interested in seeing any young ladies nude on the pages of Red Stapler. They have the rest of the internet for that.

Thank you.

Today's spam naked picture offer: Hayden Panettiere
4/29: Melania Knauss
4/30: Toni Braxton, Natalie Imbruglia, Erika Christensen

21 April 2010

We Are Meant To Be Better Than This

Someone I know - someone who is related by blood - posted this on Facebook yesterday:
DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN.

Several other people promptly "Liked" or commented favorably. Thankfully not related by blood but still too close for comfort.

Har de har har, as we used to say in third grade.

Since when did wishing death on someone become socially acceptable? It made my stomach hurt and kept me awake last night. Is that really what they want? Our president dead, his wife a widow, his two little girls fatherless? REALLY?

I try to think back on the Bush era and think whether I ever wished or prayed for him to die. I complained a lot, I know. I hope I didn't have the lack of class to ever say I wanted him to die.

Reading that made me vow to work on removing the violence from my speech. Talking about killing and wishing people dead...It's really ugly and hurtful and unnecessary, and I believe I am meant to be better than this.

Turns out Katie has some pretty strong feelings about this too.
"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."
Kurt Vonnegut


Click on this and be amazed at the absolute accuracy:

Image Source

ps It's Patrick Swayze, not Swayzie

19 April 2010

A Short Rant About the Pepsi Logo

I love graphic design in a very visceral way. I love how a line, a color, a typeface, can convey so much that mere words can't. The right combination of elements makes me shivery and pleased all the way down to my inner ear bones.

On the other hand, bad graphic design just brings THE ANGER.

The new Pepsi logo is a perfect example. This must have been a group decision because no one person can screw up that bad on their own.

It makes me fantasize about breaking into their corporate offices and standing on a desk and yelling. The logo just screams "wimpy and lame." Look:

Pepsi has had some seriously whacked logos over the years, but the new one is really awful. The 1973 Pepsi logo could kick the new logo's rear with both hands tied behind its back.

The logo itself is all "I can't decide what to be, so I will be a wavey swooshy thing." Kind of like Nike but not full of motion and bold and also HELLO 40 years too late.

And the type says "I am thin while being fat. And look, someone got creative and messed with my E a little! See how interesting that is?"

Oh typeface. You have nothing in the basement and nothing upstairs. You've plunked your mess down in the middle of the living room and I fully expect to find you camped on my couch in six months, even though you said you just needed a couple weeks to get your act together before you moved out.

I don't know why I bother. I don't know why I care. I don't drink Pepsi, ever. But if I had a chance to stuff the new logo head first into a gym locker, I would totally do it.
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