I went to church today. We have a young woman, Lindsay, who leads the singing. She is about 20 and is just stunning. Drop-dead gorgeous. Tall, curvy, with long wavy red hair and a perfect face.
I was sitting with my buds in row 4, just like usual (isn't it funny that, even when there isn't assigned seating, there is?). In row 2, which is about 8 feet from the "altar" or stage or whatever you want to call it, the area at the front that is raised up about 8 inches, was a new guy and his wife.
The new guy was really tall and maybe late 40's or early 50's. I noticed him because when Lindsay got up to sing, he was riveted. He was staring at her so hard that I couldn't NOT notice. His wife saw what was going on and tried to interest him in the songbook, but his eyes were tractor beams that were impossible to disengage. It was the same kind of intense focus you see on nature shows when the slavering wolf is crouched in the snow, regarding the limping reindeer.
I could just feel the waves of helpless lust energy coming off him. It felt icky and wildly inappropriate, but on the other hand I felt kind of sorry for him. If he was such a slave to his hormones in church (of all places) what was he like out on the street?
And then I thought about Lindsay. She saw what was going on - she was facing the guy, just a few feet from him. She is an entertainer and sings in all kinds of venues, so she must have had the same thing happen before, but it still can't be that comfortable, can it? Maybe if you're Madonna and you need to drink attention in like vampire blood to survive, but most people aren't Madonna.
I don't think I could handle it and I know many other women who feel the same way. I have talked to very attractive women who carry a few - or a few dozen - extra pounds, dress down or otherwise go out of their way to keep from being noticed.
Add a rape, assault or stalking to that mix and there are plenty of women who would rather zip on a suit of fat, the modern woman's emotional equivalent to armor, than to take their chances on attracting attention from men.
"Why can't you lose the weight?" people ask. "It's as simple as calories and exercise." Maybe not, especially if the wolf has been at your door.
What do you think? Have you ever tried to make yourself less attractive to avoid unwanted attention?
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