31 December 2006

Happy New Year

I looked back in my blog archive to see what foolish resolutions I had made and broken last year at this time. There is nothing. Great - no evidence to haunt me.

It is 8:30 pm and I sit here alone, thanks to a confluence of unforeseen events. My friends and I were supposed to meet up at a restaurant and Mr Stapler was going to meet us too. I went there - it was closed with a note on the door to meet at a different restaurant. I went there and told Mr Stapler to go there, too.

It was also closed. No note, no friends. So the Man and I went to a place where the food sucked and we both felt tragically done in by the high-fat, high-carb, high-garlic offering...we took a walk and he departed.

I am left sitting here listening to what is going on outside, which just reminds me how much more fun Latinos have than white people. Okay, call me racist, but I can hear the gritos and music and firecrackers and it is still 3 1/2 hours til the New Year. More fun, really. Sorry, gabachos.

Resolutions? Oh crimeny, why not, I have time.

1. Stop swearing. I have been saying this every year for 10 years now. My only reason for this is that I fear I will be a little old lady in a nursing home yelling "Stupid bastard asshole fuckwads!" It is just so unattractive. But on the other hand, who am I fooling? I will never be able to afford a nursing home.

2. Lose weight, get in shape, yadayada. I mean it. This sitting on my ass (oh there I go again) in front of a computer 8 hours a day plus the 90 minutes in the car on the way is just leading to waaaay too much lumpishness. Must be more active. Hopefully have fun doing it.

3. Visit 2 Channel Islands. I have only been to one and I want to visit all of them. I think there are 6 - Catalina, Santa Rosa, Anacapa, San Nicholas, Santa Cruz, Santa Barbara...One is a military installation, but I have an in. I just have to marry this and he can get me a visitor's pass.

4. Go to BlogHer

5. Go to Mexico again. I want to go to Veracruz this time.

6. Decide what to do about THAT PROBLEM. It's a secret but someone who reads the blog knows what I am talking about.

7. Deal with my wardrobe issues. Honestly. Would it kill me to not dress like a lunatic?

8. Start taking my calcium and pectin and drink more water.

Eight is enough. Now I have something to look back on next year.

Hope you are safe and well.

Watch the Rose Parade tomorrow! Billions of braincells were sacrificed by the float decorators, who work with some really crazy get-you-high glues, for your entertainment. I know. I remember balancing on a scaffolding with my head spinning and my hands covered in yellow chrysanthemum petals. The least pleasant and quite possibly most dangerous high of my life...but on parade day, all is forgotten and everything is beautiful. Long live the Tournament of Roses.


Mignon said...

I can think of nothing cooler than being really old and screaming "Get off me you bastard fuckwad!" at some prim orderly trying to give me an enema. Except maybe if I had tattoos all over as well.

Happy New Year! I guess the Latinos in your neighborhood and the 14-year-old skateboarders in mine have something in common. Bastard fuckwads and their damn fireworks! ;)

Mr Stapler said...

Kelly and I are going to take turns biting each other to ring in the New Year!

Learning in Kansas, of all places said...

My Mom (at 88) just entered the nursing home, and is shocked at how much swearing she hears. I guess I'm a little surprised too. The Doc says it's the dementia loosening up all the inhibitions of the former lives lived. My fear is what happens when all the steroid bound weight lifting goons completely lose their brain cells and end up in there. Who will handle them when they become belligerent? And yes, there is a fair amount of belligerence in the nursing home. And why not? Who wants to be there, really? Our best bet is that dementia is the reason for the admittance, and not that we go there with faculties intact. That looks oh, so difficult. But, as far as the swearing goes? You'll be in like flynn. Not to worry. Happy 2007! (Now that you can knock one of those resolutions off of your list and all.)

Suzanne said...

I am all for the little old ladies swearing in the nursing home. We've earned it.

I can't wait to see you at BlogHer in Chicago. I know this goes against your other resolution, but we must have deep dish pizza while out there. I am roping in the Queen of Spain on this as well, and any other fine fiery ladies who want to rant and rave about things while getting cheese and sauce everywhere.

Elizabeth said...

I am very happy about your #4! And will be joining your efforts at #2 as well. Plus, I get to turn FORTY this year! YAY!

Survivin said...

Hope you have a Happy New Year. Your resolutions look alot like mine, good luck keeping them. I look back every year and say ahh, well there's always next year.

Anonymous said...

Soccer Live Matches At Your Desktop


There are thousands of High Quality Channels streaming live football from around the world. We are here to show you how to find them. Receive live match links in your mail account. English Premiership Football and European Soccer Streams. Note all matches are as per BST.

Special Introductory offer:
Live match links in your mail account at only £1.00 GBP. Free for First Day if you subscribe it now.

1. Free Software:
We will provide you all software you need to get live match at your desktop.

2. Low Cost:
Free for the first day, Receive live match links in your mail account @ £1.00 GBP for each 2 weeks.

3. What's Needed:
Just need is to click on the link, start the software and match is on your desktop.

3. Live Soccer:
Watch live soccer online on your PC no need of buying Sky or Cable?

4. Is It Legal?
We donot stream live football from this server or blog. There are thousands of High Quality Channels streaming live football from around the world. We are here to show you how to find them.

Check it Once


Back to top