18 December 2006

The Invasion, Day One

Do you have any idea how dusty 25 year-old carpet gets in a stairwell that never gets used, except for bi-annual fire drills? Are you ready for the eeew-factor answer?

It is a pink carpet. The edges are black. Blaaaaaack. THAT is how dusty.

I arrived late at work to find Andres sneezing and sitting in his little corner of the stairwell. In the dark. Yes, no one thought that the security guard might need light if he was going to spend 8 hours a day in a cramped, unheated stairwell.

The words "rueful laughter" do not begin to describe how Andres greeted me. Because of his love for music and his limited English skills, he and I often communicate in little songs.

I am seeeeeeting....in the dark..." he sang. We both cracked up.

I started coughing this special way that my doctor describes as an "allergic barking cough." Bark bark bark. Bark bark bark.

The cool thing about sitting by the entry door is that you get to see everyone come to work, including the 2 cute guys who work in the building - the tall IT guy and one of the Vice Presidents, who is Mr. McDreamy himself.

The only problem is that the Vice President gets to observe you screwing around at your desk, like you do every morning before settling down to a hard day of more screwing around. Ah well. He is not, technically, MY vice president. Yeah, like that will matter when they start canning people.

By noon, they had gotten someone to vacuum the rug, though I fear the black borders are permanent. But Andres sat there in the dark all day long.


Anonymous said...

Get him a little charcoal brazier to keep warm near... That would be nice, cheerful and warm.
He could grill his lunch.
Oh, this is not Zhivago. Never mind.

super des said...

Poor Andres. We should all chip in and get him a little light. Does he need a heater? How cold are you people? Bake him a tasty pie.

guinness girl said...

Poor Andres! That makes me so sad for him! :( GROSS on the pink & black carpet. Who puts pink carpet in an office building, anyway? Do you work for Mary Kay or something? (okay, I know you don't. Or, I presume you don't.)

happy and blue 2 said...

You should get Andres a flashlight and a huge kitchen knife to wave about. That should make them aware of his plight..

VenturaMom said...

I have a few extension cords that weren't used in the jerry-rigging of our Chrismas tree and outdoor light display. We could string a few together so Andres could plug in a lamp and a heater.

VenturaMom said...

We have a few extension cords left after doing the traditional Christmas jerry rigging of outdoor lights. We could string a few together and plug in a lamp and heater for Andres.

meno said...

How about you offer to have sex with him to warm him up? Just think of a song to explain it to him.

Ok, enough of that. I used to work in a cubicle hell in a building that was mostly below ground (we could look out the windows and see people's shoes going by) that flooded every time it rained hard. So then those big fans would run all day. It was nuts making.

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