09 February 2007

Friday Fishwrap

Though it is hard to wrap fish electronically, I will give it my best shot.

It has been PostingLiteTM this week. Not because I don't have anything to say, but because I have so much I want to blab about that I don't want to overwhelm my Dear ReadersTM. I have noticed that whenever I go over 300 words or so, only my most faithful and literate fans take the time to read the thing.
Slow internet access tonight. I was trying to watch a video of last night's Colbert Report and it was so jerky that all of a sudden had a flashback to Max Headroom. If you are too young to remember Max Headroom (yes, Heather B., I am talking to you), my condolences. You missed 5 episodes (or was it only 4?) of The Best TV Ever.
Today was the last day of my tenure as the Person Who Sits Next to the Front Door at work. They have been remodeling the lobby, so the emergency door next to my desk became the front door temporarily.

Thank God. Andres the security guard and I survived six weeks of hell. Six weeks of having my 300 closest co-workers enter the building and observe what I was working on (or fooling around doing), accompanied by a whoosh of cold air and blast of cologne each and every time.

For Andres, it was six weeks of sitting in a stairwell, looking at a blank wall. For the first three, he didn't even have a light. We are both glad it will be over, but him more than me, I think.
I got forcibly transitioned to the new Blogger tonight. Bastard assholes. Not that the new Blogger is so bad, but I don't like being made to do things I don't want to do.
My dad went to the doctor because his ears were hurting. They found he had some impacted earwax, which they promptly made worse as they were trying to get it out. Since the treatment, he is practically deaf as well as legally blind. Poor dude turns into Helen Keller at age 88. Hopefully the earwax issue will be resolved on Monday. Why does this stuff always happen on FRIDAY??
I have created a monster. I usually get home from work long before my neighbor Jay, so I give his dog a treat to tide him over til Jay gets off work. Today I came home after Jay, who had let Oskar in the hose with him. I heard the dog throwing himself against the back door, dying to come out and get his biscuit. Oops.
Mr Stapler finally got bored enough to begin reading my blogroll. He said "I don't like some of those blogs you have linked on your blog. Some of them are stupid." So I feel I must issue a disclaimer: I have no responsibility for the content of blogs linked to from Red Stapler. Some are by people I added just because they have nice, shiny hair.

And a note about Mr Stapler. He is critical. It is the chief feature of his personality. He might say analytical. Right, critical. He makes Pauline Kael seem like Jeffrey Lyons.
I am still loving my improv comedy class. I still suck, but like my teacher says, "If it is good, say it. If it is bad, say it with twice as much conviction."


Suzanne said...

I was wondering when you would be forced over as well. I guess misery loves company. And I do hope that Mr. Stapler does not think my blog is stupid. I will probably fret about this for days. Oy.

amanda said...

That second paragraph about Mr. Stapler exactly describes Mr. Mandajuice. I would SAY it's because they're both lawyers, but we both know better. The kind of people who are drawn to that profession are, uh, special. And then they spend their lives getting PAID to be critical and it only gets worse.

Mr Stapler said...

Ms Stapler has understated my problem somewhat. Being critical is not the main feature of my personality, it is the ONLY feature of my personality [this may be why I am 44 and never married.]

And I love everyone's blogs! Truly, truly, truly I do.

Suzanne said...

Nothing wrong at all with being critical. What is unfortunate is when your partner smells like a very nasty piece of cherry candy and you find out it is his new type of chapstick that he hates but will use because he spent $1.50 on it. And he doesn't read your blog at all.

super des said...

I have nice shiny hair. I think I fit into your disclaimer quite well, and I'm happy there, thank you.

Skye said...

Oy, it was FOURTEEN episodes, and I have all but one of them on DVD. The other I have on VHS.

Skye said...

Which means my children will grow up to mock me, but it's worth it.

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