31 March 2007

I give up

I quit eating meat in 1986. I remember the exact moment. I had gotten a pork chile verde burrito from Taco de Mexico in Santa Maria and was driving south in my car, eating my Sunday-edition sized food with one hand while steering with the other.

Suddenly I looked down at my burrito and went "Ugh." I folded the foil up around it, stuck it in the white paper bag from whence it came, and threw it on the floor of my car.

When I got to Los Olivos Days, my cousins asked "Want to go to the barbecue?"

"Nope," I answered. "I'm a vegetarian."

That was that.

Fast forward 21 years. Today I was looking at a kohlrabi I was eating raw.

"Ugh," I thought.

I went and got an In-n-Out double double burger and some fries. I felt a little worse for wear afterward, but dang it tasted great.

That was that. 21 years of vegetarianism out the window in one fell burger.

My people, my people.

If you believe that crap, you have forgotten how much I love April Fools Day.

And how much I love kohlrabi.

In other April Fools Day news, I have been punk'd. I woke up and looked at my clock. 7:15 a.m. I knew I had to get going because I am in charge of food for church today and I was baking something that took an hour.

I made my cheese blintz puff (yum), fed me and the dog, blogged a bit. Soon it was 8:30 and time to get ready for church.

I took a shower and looked at my cell phone.

7:58 a.m.

Huh? Clock says 8:58, computer says 8:58.

I called my mom. "Ma! What time is it?"

"It's just about 8."

I finally figured it out. Today was the day that the time was supposed to change. My computer and clock didn't do it 3 weeks ago when the time changed early this year, so I fixed them. And today they fixed me.

It feels weird to get April Foolsed by technology, without even any of my family members involved.


gr said...

Amen. I graze at the same table, since 1983.

Laurabob said...

You got me! Mom will be so proud!
I thought you were depressed and I thought you had snapped...

claire said...

yeah, you totally got me with the burger. silly me.

also, my mother said the same thing about her clocks and being April-fooled this morning. she even heard them say the time on the radio and assumed they made a mistake. hee!
silly techmology.

Lisa said...

Is that REALLY how you became a vegetarian? (I wish I could do that with candy and chocolate and baked goods... Just look down and think, "Ughh." And never eat it again.)

Punked by technology. heehee Love it.

TB said...

I was going to comment on the intestinal distress eating a burger after 21 meat free years would probably cause before I saw the April Fool's part. When I was meat-free, eating even a bite or two of ground beef would screw up my system for days.

MsLittlePea said...

The tech April Foolsed you! I love that! I didn't get to any April Fooling because it's my mom's birthday.

I tried to become a vegetarian once. It lasted about 5 days. I didn't do it right because I started to feel weak. I caught the flu and never went back. I don't think it caused my flu but that was my excuse for my lack of commitment. I get that ugh feeling about fast food and most sweets though.

super des said...

I was about to throw a fit. Of course, I read this after April Fool's Day.

But In 'n Out Does have good veggie-friendly eats. :)

Maggie said...

Wow what a fall from Vegetarian Grace that would have been - a double In N Out burger no less.

Technology fooled you - like ghosts in your machines.

wordgirl said...

I feel so bad, but I DO LOVE meat. So...I'll have a few extra carrots for my karma.

Andrea said...

Dude, no fair bringing up In N Out when they are only in CA! I'll have to have one when I'm there in August for my sister's wedding. Maybe. I've been rethinking my meat eating lately and I'm coming to the same conclusion you did with that burrito. Only in a far slower fashion.

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