No, not rain on your wedding day. That's not ironic, it is unfortunate.
Ironic is when you get roped into helping at a fitness event at work and you spend three hours handing out flyers on stress relief and end up all stressed because you have had to listen to the same three minutes of crappy new-age-stress-release music over and over and over.
THAT is irony, Alanis.
And then not so ironic but still sucky is when you go to lunch and order a taco salad, no steak, just throw some rice and beans in there instead. So the woman charges you for a taco salad AND a side of rice and a side of beans so suddenly you have a $9 taco salad. WTF? I'm getting penalized for a LACK OF STEAK?
And then the meatless taco salad contains random chunks of meat. But I'm not going to say anything - I'm cool that way, not like Vic's vegetarian friend who stood up in a cafe, threw his food down in a rice-and-bean splatter explosion and yelled "OH FUCKING DOGSHIT" when he got a sliver of chicken in his veg burrito.
But the chunk of wood! Wow, that was a new one on me. And I LIKE fiber. My teeth were so surprised! Because wood? Not really a normal ingredient in a taco salad where I am from.
I took my salad back to the overcharging beetch at the counter and said "I'm done. I'm out." She reluctantly gave me a refund (I had to show her the wood - "Look, WOOD") - not for the drink, of course, just the salad - beetch - and I went to Olas where I got some nice tacos and the opportunity to watch surf videos.
But somehow my day still wasn't ruined. Because you know when you have had PMS? And then it lifts? Isn't it like the sun coming out of the clouds on a really gloomy day? And everything is all bright and shiny and happy by comparison. And you just start singing "I feel good!" even at the gas station.
p.s. Thanks to Amalah for letting me borrow some of her question marks.