Hope springs maternal

Do you know how old I am?

Almost 46. Ye gods. How did THAT happen?

Have I ever been married? No, I have not. I am quite heterosexual and have had an active love life, but what with one thing and another (here are my significant relationships in order: sociopath, drunk, commitment-phobe, way too much like me, wanted kids, workaholic, republican, perfect but moved away, drunk (same person as the first time, woo!) and goddamned if I know) I never made the walk down the aisle.

The other day my brother-in-law gave me a gold wedding band my sister had worn. It had belonged to my great-grandmother, who had huge hands. I put it on a chain around my neck.

I walked into my folks' house Friday morning.

"Susie got a ring!!!" Mom squealed, delighted.

I haven't seen her so excited in years. Never mind the fact that I haven't talked about a man or introduced them to a man - she had this crazy hope that, because I was suddenly wearing a big ass wedding band on a chain, that I was "promised."

Sorry mom. I am not shopping for white dresses this month, but I will keep you posted in the unlikely event that, 32 short years after I started dating, my Mystery Date will finally arrive.