Ad on the front page of USA Today print edition: “Get celebrities’ birthdays on your cell phone. Text 12345 with message ‘bday.’”
What earthly good is this? So you can spend the day musing on how lovely it is that Justin Timberlake is celebrating his birth on THIS VERY DAY?
Honestly, people. If I ever start gushing about some celebrity’s birthday, take me out back like Ol’ Yeller, put a bullet in my delusional noggin and leave me for vulture food. Because at that point, that’s all I would be good for.