So answer me this

1) My kitchen sink stopper is a non-standard size (because my sink is ancient and non-standard), so I can't stop up my sink if I want to. It just doesn't fit right (but it keeps veg peels from going down the pipes).

So answer me this: Why, then, when I dump something disgusting, does the sink stopper magically seal for once, so that I have to reach through an inch of murky, coffee-ground- and oatmeal-filled water to unstop it?

2) There is a motion-sensor light above my front door. It does not turn on with a switch. When the switch is on, it still needs motion to set it off, and many things do this - cats, waving banana leaves that are 30 feet away, wrinkles in the fabric of the universe...

So answer me this: Why, when I open the front door and Goldie and I walk out into the pitch blackness and I want to take the trash out and want light to keep me from breaking an ankle, so I stand there waving my arms in every direction like a total maniac, will the light not go on until I have waved so hard that I have already fallen off the front porch?

Do you have any questions? Or answers?

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PS I love you people! I don't say it often enough but Valentines Day shouldn't just be reserved for romantic love, right? I just hope that everyone gets the same amount of fun, support and friendship that I have from blogging.