A modest proposal

Hot on the heels of a post in which I call for more kindness LOL...

I think the actual lifespan of people, if we were living more in harmony with nature, would be about 45. You've raised your kids and they are spawning - so your time is up.

At least that's the way it works with many plants and animals, right? And in personal terms, every single day my body (I'm 46) tells me its prime is over in a new, more humiliating and painful way.

So anything above 45 is extra, isn't it? A bonus.

Unfortunately, this leads to overpopulation. We have boatloads of people living to be 95 and 100. I don't have a problem with that, but gosh, there are a mighty lot of them, and some of them, unfortunately, aren't that nice.

I have a modest proposal to thin the herd:

When anyone turns 45, they have to defend their lives. They have to stand in front of a 9-person panel and present what they have done so far. They can call witnesses, put on a multimedia presentation, submit a resume, whatever.

And if anyone has a complaint, they can speak, too.

At the end, the panel makes a simple decision: live, or die. You have 45 years to get it right. If you have contributed, loved well, been kind, then you get to stay. Probably 95% of people would get to live, but the ugly few wouldn't make the cut.

Adios, amigos. Nice knowing you. The man will be meeting you in the blue juice room to send you away forever. Sleep well.

Wouldn't the world be a much better place without the rotten 5 percent? The 5 percent who are responsible for all of locking our doors, safety-sealing our food, standing in lines for airport security? The 5 percent who abuse kids and animals, who drink up the family's rent money, who break things just for the sake of breaking them?

Who is with me on this one? And can we start with this guy?