27 August 2008

Mini bitch fest AND Pimpfest

Megan Hook from Undomestic Diva got this party started with her post: "Mini Bitch Fest. Join me. It's free!" so I thought: GREAT IDEA. At last, a hobby I am GOOD at! Here we go:

1. Three hours after I had my car washed at the REAL car wash, not the squirt-it-URself for $2.25 place, my neighbor sprayed his hose all over it. In beautiful So Cal, our water makes spots LIKE CRAZY. Blue car, white spots. He had to spray his freaking hose at least 15 feet to hit my car. Oh well, at least I got to enjoy a nice shiny car for three hours.

2. Pundits who say Hillary's speech wasn't strong enough in endorsing Obama. People, the woman had her hopes and dreams CRUSHED by a tiny tiny margin. Even I, as a big Obama fan, will admit that. Personally, I would not have been able stagger out on stage without busting into big whooping sobs, so give her some props. She played it so well, a real class act. So shaddup.

3. My Spirituality and Health teacher. Make that my EX-Spirituality and Health teacher. Hey, wench, if you are going to call a class "Spirituality and Health," make sure it has something to do with both those subjects. Just having a touchy feeley class on exploring basic spirituality that has nothing to do with health AND no discernable lesson plan? Not good enough for college level, not even community college level. DROP. Bye.

4. The guy in the tan speedo who comes to the pool 20 minutes before aqua aerobics is over and who paces around the edge waiting for class to be over? Your little pissy expression is not gonna help get our class over with faster, fella. It is ONE HOUR A DAY. Wait your turn, and in the mean time, get a better swimsuit. That thing makes you look naked and blank, like a Ken doll.

5. Lady parked in the loading zone for an hour: thank you. My handicapped mom had to walk much farther and I had to park halfway out in traffic as she painfully hobbled to the car. I hope your kneecaps disintegrate, too, so you find out what it is like.

Ok, five is enough. Anyone? Bueller?

PS Go vote for my choice for Hottest Female Blogger, Deb on the Rocks, at the hottest blogger calendar thingy. She is about 10 down from the top.

Why Deb, when so many hot bloggers are on the list? Deb makes me laugh every day. She writes about sex in a sexxxxay way. She's a lesbian, and I am all about the Diversity and Kumbaya while holding hands thing. She was a fellow community keynote speaker at BlogHer 08 (yes, there were other people besides me, as much as I try to downplay it). And um what else? She's hot in a totally anti-Paris Hilton kinda way. I mean, if Paris Hilton were forced through a Black Hole and into an alternate universe and she came out bigger, better and equipped with a stellar personality and sense of humor, she would be Deb. Go vote.

PPS Anyone else sob when Hillary made the motion to declare Obama the nominee by acclamation and everyone shouted "Yea!!!"?? So happy.


shoesonwrong said...

Hilliary's speech was great. It restored at least a little of my faith in her, which had been shattered after she threw Obama under the bus with that whole “[McCain’s] never been the president, but he will put forth his lifetime of experience. I will put forth my lifetime of experience. Senator Obama will put forth a speech he made in 2002.” Comment back in March.

meno said...

Please take a picture of Ken for us. That might embarass him, plus you could post it, win/win.

I thought HC showed a lot of class too.

lizgwiz said...

I think Hillary has been incredibly gracious. Now I want those lingering disgruntled supporters of hers to follow her lead and SHUT. UP. about voting for McCain.

I was a Dean supporter last time, and it made me want to throw up a little bit to vote for Kerry, but I DID IT.

Swistle said...

"Big whooping sobs" is so well-put, it made my eyes well up!

Deb Rox said...

Baby! I was cheering with you on the HRC, choking with laughter at the blank Ken doll--and then, whoop, such an awesome shout-out. Thank you sooo much!! You rocked my week!

Next time I see you I'm so licking every inch of that stapler instead of just the top!

Suzanne said...

Rock on with your praise of HRC. I thought she did a fantastic job. In fact, I thought if she'd only acted that way for most of the primary season, I might've even voted for her.

Mrs. G. said...

Hillary rocked the house...not until this election have I noticed how the media makes up a new narrative for her every few hours-she's not supportive enough, she's an ass kisser, she's a divider, she's a uniter, she's cold, she's shrill, she's a softhearted matriarch, poor Bill, lucky Bill.

I have never seen a man scrutinized so thoroughly and brutally and superficially in my life. I know everyone is tired of hearing about the old and tired and dusty word sexism, but, like it or not, the double standard is alive and freakin' well.

Longwinded attempt to give Hillary her props.

Gwen said...

I agree about Hillary, too. I was all a'teary eyed through the whole speech. Thought she was fabulous and did herself proud.

Do you know that in France, there are swimming places where you MUST wear a Speedo? Board shorts are not allowed. I have a hard time getting my head (har!) around that one.

Ladyhawk said...

I can't believe anyone would put Hillary and sincere in the same sentence. Why don't you just call her "Little Bill"? Even her hand gestures were inherited right from Bill. I don't want anyone else in office like President Bush, but I am more than thankful that Mrs. Bill won't be in office either.

And I thought Senator Obama's announcementfor a running mate came at a great time, it was something we could all sleep through!

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