Suebob's Red Stapler: Oeuf means egg

04 August 2008

Oeuf means egg

I have some strong opinions about food. I LOVE food. Food is my friend. I hate when people HURT food.

This rant came because I just read an old poet-friend's blog and she talked about putting grated ginger in scrambled eggs. Good gosh, Laura-Marie, I love you, woman, but NO NO NO. That...is wrong.

Eggs are a tough subject. I have a delicate, complicated relationship with eggs. As someone who loves to cook and bake, eggs are so handy.

But because of the smell and the texture, eggs can turn on me. I don't like things that are slippery or rubbery and eggs so often tip the scale over into nausea territory.

Scrambled eggs? Yes, if they are cooked absolutely dry. In this manner, I have consumed omelets and breakfast burritos aplenty.

Meringue? Sure!

Egg drop soup? My sister Laura always used to make me laugh at American Chinese soups by calling them "Cream of Cornstarch," which, once you start thinking about it, makes you not order the soup course when going out for Chinese (even if the soup is free with meal, I still can't do it).

Poached or fried eggs? Er no, the texture. The floor is starting to tilt a little and my stomach is doing that fluttery thing. Don't EVEN think of busting that yolk so that...gaaaaaah....the yellow part ooozes onto other food...I can't look.

True weirdo confession: I am 47 years old and have never, ever gotten up in the morning and made myself an egg or two. I just can't face an egg that early in the morning. Eggs are "out" food.

Boiled eggs? (I wrote something super disgusting comparing the smell of boiled eggs to something else but edited it out because I am nice that way). NO BOILED EGGS IN ANYTHING NO WAY PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. How do people EAT these things? Why? As a 20-year vegetarian, I can tell you that I would much rather sit down to a heaping plate of bacon than to eat one boiled egg. That's how much I love boiled eggs.

Let me share my favorite egg recipe: Put one dozen eggs in the refrigerator. Age for 6 months. Toss out. Repeat. I never get tired of this one!

How do you like your eggs?

19 comments:

Deb Rox said...: I had no idea anyone could hate boiled eggs so much. They are one of the world's perfect foods and (I thought) universally loved.

I'm with you on the gooey yolks, though. Insane. Only zombies would like something so runny.; 3:38 AM
Swistle said...: DRY. They have to be 100% dry. I like fried eggs, but the yolk has to be mixed in so there's no Wet. My favorite way to eat eggs is a tie: scrambled with cheese and sausage, and fried on toast. Mmmmmm.; 6:32 AM
Cagey (Kelli Oliver George) said...: Hee! I am guessing you would not care for a century egg, no?

I like eggs all different ways. One of my favorites, sadly (for you), is egg curry. Which does involve a hard-boiled egg or two. Or three.; 7:11 AM
QT said...: Sorry - hard boiled egg lover here. The only way I can't eat them is sunny side up. Poached is also not my favorite.

Double sorry - dry scrambled eggs are a crime. The best scrambled eggs I've ever had were mixed with cream and cooked over a double boiler. Not runny, not slimy, but light and fluffy and perfectly MOIST.; 7:24 AM
Day Dreamer said...: I love them every way I can get 'em. When I was growing up, we were pretty broke. Momma used to make fried egg sandwiches to bring to school for lunch. They were sunny side up eggs with mayo & salt & pepper. That's it.

Comfort food for me now means one of those gooey sandwiches on white bread.

I'm a freak in a long line of freaks I guess!; 7:46 AM
lizgwiz said...: I'll eat eggs pretty much any way you can prepare them. But I rarely cook them for breakfast--no time. And, not wanting to gross you out, but I love boiled eggs AND a good runny yolk. If I had my way, of course, I'd never eat anything but fresh eggs grown by people I know who have chickens. I particularly like the green-shelled ones. The taste is fabulous, for one thing, and for another, I can amuse myself riffing on the many ways I like "green eggs and...no ham."; 7:58 AM
Anonymous said...: Scrambled HARD, boiled HARD and sometimes fried HARD.

I cannot stand yolk. It makes me sick when people eat eggs over easy and he goo runs everywhere, bleck bleck bleck.; 8:02 AM
Kizz said...: Boiled eggs are not universally loved. They are OK. With any egg situation it's the white that gets me. Egg white omelette? How do people eat that? It seems like you're asking to have toast but just the crust, please.

Scrambled are my faves with cheese and a side of ketchup is the best. Put it on a toasted roll and I'm in heaven. Also so hungry now.; 8:35 AM
Suzanne said...: I love eggs in every shape and form except raw. They are the perfect food, packed with nutrients and satisfying. Ever since I had to go on a lower carb diet, I've been eating a lot of eggs. To be honest, poached eggs are basically my fave. There is nothing more perfect than eggs benedict (minus the hollandaise). Sorry that eggs don't work so well for you, but I can understand your aversion.; 8:49 AM
InventingLiz said...: The only way I can eat eggs is hard boiled - ABSOLUTELY NO RUNNINESS ALLOWED - and in omelettes with a LOT of cheese and veggies and other non-egg stuff. When I was a kid my mother would sometimes send me to school with an egg salad sandwich; when she found out that I was giving them away to my third-grade teacher, she switched to giving me two very hard boiled eggs with a bread and butter sandwich - this became my very favorite lunch!; 9:23 AM
SUEB0B said...: Yes, I KNOW about how much people love the hard boiled eggs. CC brings 2 dozen deviled eggs to church and they are gone in 2 minutes.

But not me.; 9:36 AM
Anonymous said...: I will eat them any way you serve them. I used to think that I didn't like them poached, but it turns out that hollandaise sauce masks their unpleasant appearance, so they're in. My most common orders are over easy in the morning, in a quiche at brunch, in egg salad at lunch and scrambled in migas any ol' time.; 10:18 AM
mar said...: i love'em all ways. but i understood the ooki-ness involved.; 4:03 PM
Glennis said...: sueb0b, you are so funny!!

My husband hates boiled eggs. I love 'em. I just boiled 2 this morning and made me some egg salad for lunch today.

but I also love a good soft-boiled with the runny yolk and a slice of whole wheat toast to soak it up.

I don't think there's an egg recipe I don't like.

But then, I'm not really picky about food. I eat almost anything - that's real.

I don't like a lot of processed foods and a lot of sweet foods. But as far as basic food items go, I pretty much try anything.; 9:54 PM
Anonymous said...: Poached!; 1:39 PM
Marisa said...: In my husband's omelets, my ex-boyfriend's crepes, and my grandpa's baked macaroni and cheese...; 6:28 PM
Laura-Marie said...: I like my eggs any which way. Erik likes his dry, and I oblige.; 7:42 PM
KiKi said...: Can I have your 6 month old eggs? I'll even come over and boil them for you, they smell even better as they age. Yum.; 11:27 AM
J said...: I love eggs. My favorite recipe is black beans and salsa, heated in a small pan, crack an egg into it, and let it almost set. Yes, it's runny. Sorry.

My brother, however, agrees with you. As does my grandma. They both hate eggs.; 7:22 PM