I try not to mention That Place I Go 40 Hours a Week, but let's just say that since the beginning of the year, it has sucked all of the marrow out of my bones and left my crumpled carcass to dry in the sun (but I love it! I do! Because I NEED ME A JOB!), so I just haven't been able to persuade my carcass to post very often.
Speaking of my carcass, let's look at all the great things that have happened to my face in 2009:
First, in January, Goldie clocked me in the mouth with her head as she was struggling to get away from the veterinarian. I actually saw the proverbial stars! That dog has a head the same size and specific gravity as a red brick. I swear the resulting bruise looked more impressive in real life than in this photo:
The there was the cute new haircut, accompanied by a colossal zit on the end of my nose that plagued me for over 2 weeks. BIG! RED! ZIT! You might say I have the skin of a woman 1/4 my age (but not in a good way):
Last week, I got 3 fillings (2 were replacements) and a great new bruise atop one of my chins, thanks to Dr. R. Can I maybe get a discount off that $528 bill for the disfigurement?
And then yesterday my eye started to hurt. And swell. And swell:
Ah, ah, ahllergy season!
2009 has obviously not been my year. If it keeps going like this, I think Vogue is going to cancel my upcoming cover. Dang.
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7 comments:
No one's looking at the swelling because your new haircut is so damn cute!
I hear you. "The place that pays my bills" has been a true vampyric life sucker of major proportions. The lottery truly needs to hit for me soon.
I had to smile at your likening Goldie's head to the mass of a brick. I've been there, felt that. Funny how the dog just looks at you with a face that says "yeah, so?"
Hang in there! Dare I say it's GOT to get better? Besides, with a cute hair cut like that how could it not?
You look like four completely different people in those pictures. Maybe you're a superhero with a face-shifting superpower. Let's think that way.
That's not you. There's no red stapler anywhere in those pictures!
(Maybe Goldie AND your dentist need glasses?)
I imagine that everyone whose blogs I read is glamorous and amazing all the time, anyway.
I am an evangelist of the Oil Cleansing Method school. I used to have two-week zits all the time until I started using it.
http://www.theoilcleansingmethod.com/
The other day, Midnight stepped on my eye. I guess I should have known better, but then I had a black lab shaped paw print on my face.
And my cheeks get horribly bruised when I go to the dentist too, due to 2 giant man-hands in my tiny little mouth.
I should start taking pictures, then we can have a face off.
(that was bad, sorry) :P
Forget conference roommates - we should share a room together in a health clinic.
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