15 May 2009


God, this world gets stupider and stupider, doesn't it?

Just this week I have had to live through Jon of Jon & Kate stepping out on his wife and Elizabeth Edwards rehashing an affair that no one wanted rehashed. The worst part of that one was the stiff, judgy admission that she couldn't imagine telling a man he was hot. Oh, Elizabeth, honey, I think you need to put on some Tina Turner and learn to shake your groove thing! Pry open those pursed lips and let your man know you think he is smokin'!

Then I almost gagged when I heard Miss California Carrie Prejean sniveling about how she lost her potential Miss USA crown because the evil Perez Hilton gave her a low score after she gave a dumb answer about gay marriage.

It's not dumb just because she disagrees with me about gay marriage. The ANSWER is dumb. Watch:

Today she was going on about how in America we are supposed to have free speech and things like her losing the Miss USA crown weren't supposed to happen.

Word to the wise, Miss Carrie - we do have free speech in the United States, but we don't necessarily have free speech in the workplace.

At work we have to learn to zip it sometimes, and I would venture a guess that that extends to pageantry, as well. (Or whatever you people call the outdated sexist ritual you people indulge yourselves in).

Even if Miss USAing doesn't qualify as paid employment, you have to realize that beauty pageant queens aren't supposed to be smart and honest. Heck no! THAT would go against the ideal of femininity, which is what you are supposed to represent.

Like the Little Mermaid, you are supposed to shut up and be pretty, or suffer the pain of walking on knives (the original Little Mermaid, not the Disneyfied one).

At the very least, beauty queens are supposed to be diplomatic and to master the fine art of saying nothing while saying something. FAIL.

In stating your opinion on gay marriage (not quite as good as "opposite marriage") you insulted Perez Hilton, the bitchiest celeb blogger in history, and forgot one of the prime rules of life "You gotta know where it is buttered."

I work for Someone who hates the phrase "in order to." In my work, I write, but I also combine my words with pre-written text and with bits that other, smarter people give me. Then Someone edits my work.

You can be damned sure that, on my little to-do list for everything I send Someone, right after "spell check" and "eliminate passive voice" I have "search 'in order to.'"

I could object. I could say that "in order to" is a handy phrase sometimes. But you know what? Someone weighs in on my annual review. And Someone decides on my raise, and whether I am going to be working there next year.

Do I think Someone would fire me over "in order to"? No.

But I know where it is buttered. In order to keep enjoying my toast, even in America, I will refrain from invoking my 1st Amendment rights. And I won't snivel about it. I hope that my least favorite beauty queen will do the same.

Flurrious wrote a post on this same issue that is so much better and funnier than anything I have ever written that I saved the link til the bottom of my post, lest you click over there and never come back. Go. Read. Laugh.


Mrs. G. said...

By the grace of God, I'm not up on this scandal. I will tell you, however, that my 18-year-old daughter told me NEVER to read Perez H. because he is a "heartless tool." She criticizes infrequently, so I have to follow her advice.

LittlePea said...

YOu made me laugh so hard. Before agreeing with you 100% I have to say first that I loathe Perez Hilton. I think it's disgusting that he, as a gay man, tries to out gay celebs. Which brings me to celebs, I would never get in line to defend them but being one shouldn't mean you deserve to be outed by an asshole before you get the chance to tell your own family. Which brings me to Donald Trump, who I also loathe but, he stated this past week that looking at her scores, she still wouldn't have won even if her interview score was a perfect one so she needs to stop using that "I lost because I believe in free speech" crap.

I believe in free speech too. But I'm not going to tell a person who is interviewing me for a job I've wanted all my life that I don't think he should have the same rights as I do. There was a way to answer that question a bit more gracefully.
I love what you have to say here- I never thought about the fact that she was in a "work place", this is such a good point. And did you notice that she used the phrase,"in my country," ??? I didn't even watch it I saw it on CNN but I was like what? Isn't this the MissUSA pageant? WTF country is she talking about or did she think she had already won and was doing the interview part of the MissUniverse pageant?
She's too dumb to see that she's being exploited. She should move to Alaska and run for governor when genius Sarah runs for President. I'm sure no one will notice the difference.

flurrious said...

What I love (and hate) is how Terribly Serious all of the even tangentially involved parties are making it out to be. There are press conferences and statements from former Vice-Presidential candidates and tears and resigning in protest and enough moral outrage to power a small city -- and it's all centered around this one ridiculous woman and her barely coherent opinion. If Ruth Bader Ginsburg were to offer her personal opinion on gay marriage, that would be significant. Some aspiring underpants model's opinion? I care less about that.

Traceytreasure said...

I think she's just proof that you don't have to be smart "in order to" be tall and pretty!

I think she's an idiot with too much makeup on! That "opposite" remark killed me! WTH?


mar said...

thank you sb for stating that in such a way that is so much more non-judgmental than the woman herself. this says it all: "At the very least, beauty queens are supposed to be diplomatic and to master the fine art of saying nothing while saying something. FAIL."
i cannot wait to room with you in july! suzanne just this evening (& in person!) told you me you are just as cute & funny in real life as you are en blog.

Mom101 said...

Thank you so so much for "Like the Little Mermaid, you are supposed to shut up and be pretty." That movie is banned in this house for that very reason, and I've had God knows how many arguments with people who insist I'm toooootally missing the point.

I'm not. And I'm not with Miss Cal-ee-forn-ya either. the point is she's an idiot. No crown for you.

Sister Wolf said...

She is just a really, really stupid bitch, and in order to feel sorry for her I would have to forget that she posed nude and then signed a contract saying that she didn't.

In order to hate Perez Hilton I would have to lose what little sense of humor I have left, which I still need in order to read this blog, which made me laugh at the word Someone with a capital S.

Project Christopher said...

Mrs. G... Perez IS a tool, but he's a gay tool with a very loud mouth/blog.

AND regardless of whether he had ever uttered another word about Miss Cali-newboobs-fornia she still should have done as SueBob said and know where it's buttered.
As my partner who lives in SoCal says "she is supposed to at least TRY to speak for all Californians. With the Prop 8 vote that close, she ain't doin' her job. And besides.... SHE'S IN THE BEAUTY PAGEANT INDUSTRY!!! Who does she think did her make up?

And in the end, Perez isn't the only tool.... Carrie is and has become more of one at the rightous hands of the right.

sorry, soapbox. I thought you did a funny job SueBob, as usual!~ Love ya

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

I haven't read the interview with Elizabeth Edwards, but my impression was more shock that her husband would so easily have his head turned by a young thing calling him 'hot'.

Miss California is an idiot. And so is Perez Hilton. ;)

angel apologist said...

Miss Prejean is another example of an American confusing (note the absence of passive voice..) the principle of free speech, i.e. "congress shall make no law abridging, etc....", with the childish wish to be magically protected for suffering any consequences for speaking freely.
Nobody said it was easy, sweetheart.
P.S.....Mar, you are wrong. Ms. RS is MUCH cuter and funnier in person, not "just as"

SUEB0B said...

J - I didn't say John Edwards wasn't a complete tool. But the woman he bonked isn't a sweet young thing - not by a long shot.

Suzanne said...

I wish the BlogHer community forum contest deadline had not passed before you posted this gem.

Maggie said...

Sometimes it would seem that it is so much better to be out of the TV loop. Sigh. The idiocy.

I've often wondered why they don't just drop the sham of interviewing in these pageants. What these girls think, if pageant people are honest, doesn't matter one snit. The bikini however weighs in significantly.

apathy lounge said...

Carrie Prejean is an idiot and Perez is simply getting a little of his own acidic meanness splashed back into his face. Not that this makes it right, though.

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