19 July 2009

Don't mess

Public service announcement: Those decorative chenilley-velvety lap blankets? Should not go in the laundry:

They especially should not go in the laundry with your fuzzy pink slippers.

It was a lap-robesplosion. It was like it had been run through a shredder instead of a wash machine. Good thing I had bought it for $3 at a thrift store.

I was in a hurry to drop Goldie off so the folks could watch her while I went to the gym.

Yes, I KNOW I can leave the dog home alone for 2 hours, but the dog does not know I can leave the dog alone for 2 hours. When I start getting ready to go, she stands out by the car and urges me to hurry up so she can go see the Beloved Grandparents.

I pulled up to the house and found the driveway fully blocked by a black Toyota truck. Not just the butt-end sticking a foot into the driveway, no - this was like someone thought the driveway was a real parking spot.

I saw the mass of people kitty-corner at a yard sale. I marched myself across the street.

"Does someone here have a black Toyota pickup?" I asked.

This lady separated herself from the crowd and I made this "move it on out" kind of gesture because I really didn't want to talk to someone so rude and stupid.

"Oooh, I didn't realize I was parked so far back," she said.

"Right," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Anyway, you could have parked somewhere else."

"What?" I yelled.

"I was only going to be a minute, you could have parked somewhere else."

"Don't be a rude idiot," I said.

My dad was slowly making his way out front. He is, after all, legally blind.

"What's going on?" he asked.

The woman was in the truck moving it forward, windows down.

"Some dumb bitch was parked blocking the driveway," I yelled.

"Hey!" she yelped as Dad laughed and I walked in the house.

A note of explanation. I don't lose my temper in public very often. I never swear in front of my parents. But there is a first time for everything. Fortunately Dad thought it was hilarious. He chuckled for an hour and made me repeat the story twice. I actually think he was kind of proud of me.

A second note: I got my period that afternoon. Which explains a lot.


Susan C said...

I love that you made your dad laugh, again and again.

~ap said...

first of all, the washer incident looks like a period explosion. just sayin'...
and lastly, i'm so glad your dad got a kick out of the perfect pms-relieving moment for you. i bet he's telling his friends right now about his "fiesty" daughter. :)

Unknown said...

Glad to know that you always make your dad smile and laughing always. ;D Looking forward on your next post, have a good day. ;D

mar said...

if you could've parked somewhere else, why couldn't she have parked not in front of someone's driveway?
and i'm sure you've seen the picture of the person who parked directly across s's drive in february (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s4C3fv1cX5s/SambMZ8NEaI/AAAAAAAAAG8/hAu3Uhd_0A4/s1600-h/carblock.jpg) the next day after he'd been towed he knocked on the door & asked why we did that because he thought he was only a little across the driveway. idiots!

Unknown said...

That.... was just awesome :o)

J at www.jellyjules.com said...

I've been there...no period required.

Ericka said...

wow. my fuzzy pink slippers are cringing in fear right now.

flurrious said...

"Don't be a rude idiot" is my favorite new directive.

Dingo said...

Your period doesn't explain, however, why that woman was an idiot.

Count Mockula said...

It made me chuckle, too. Oh, and I did that with a lavender chenille blanket once...

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Yep! Me too!

Stupid people!


Melissa said...

I have recently learned that all of those rude comments that I yell in my car when no one can hear me are quite audible now that I have a zippy little convertible. The first time I yelled at someone for trying to cut me off while the top was down, they ended up behind me at a red light and proceeded to tell me, out of their open window, what a bitch I was until the light turned green. Thank goodness they weren't the get-out-of-the-car-and-kick-my-ass types.

Jules said...

Lol! hahaha I'm happy to know that you always make your papa smile. =D Good for you, looking forward on your next post. Have a great day. =D

A Writers Den
The Brown Mestizo

Anonymous said...

hi... just dropping by!

Tina@ SendChocolateNow said...

trust me, that chenille crap? Did the same thing. It was alll over my front loading washer and had to clean the filter out of the dryer three times. What a mess.

I had to throw my red underwear AWAY, never could get the fuzz off.


stinkypaw said...

That must of feel so good to tell a dumb bitch that she was just that!

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