01 January 2010

I like Candy

Background: My 50-ish friend is a total dog. He is an incorrigible flirt and tries to pick up women wherever he goes. It's like a reflex - he just can't help it.

We are on a trip to Whole Foods and the cashier is this cute Bettie Page-looking girl, if Bettie Page were platinum blonde and had many tats and piercings. Her nametag says "Candice."

My Friend the Dog, in his best deep newscaster voice he uses when he is trying to pick up girls: So, they call you Candy, do they?
Candice: Pardon?
My Friend the Dog: So, they call you Candy, do they?
Candice: Well, nobody except creepy old guys.
Suebob: [howling]
Candice: I mean, I don't mean YOU. I mean, it's just...
Suebob: [howling]
My Friend the Dog: Touché. I guess I deserved that.

I gotta give it to him, he took it pretty well.


Karen Sugarpants said...

I like Candice. Hahahaha...is that the dude I met at Erin's?

Al_Pal said...

ROFL. Awesome.

apathy lounge said...

He DID deserve it! Thanks for the laugh.

kris said...

That was fantastic. Good on her!

Joe Crawford (artlung) said...

I will have to remember this if I ever become lecherous: "be original in your lechery, not of course, that it will work any better than unoriginal lechery."

Your Bettie Page photo is Gretchen Mol.

I'm already a pedant, maybe I'll just stick with that. :-)

Jessica said...

That's awesome!
And it's awesome that you howled!

Men really are delusional, aren't they?

roo said...

oooh. bette paige. one of my favorites.

Happy New Year, SueBob! best wishes to you and yours, from a godless heathen who admired your taste in blouses at blogger 2006

Laurie said...

I still think this is funny.

Laurie said...

I still think this is funny.

Back to top