Women are from Mars. Men are from somewhere foul and disgusting.

Men and women. Are we different species? You be the judge:

When I stay at Mr. Stapler's house, I sometimes get sick of keeping him awake with my constant tossing and turning and him keeping me awake with his snoring. Then I go sleep in the guest room.

Today we had the following phone conversation:

Mr. S: I rented out the guest room to a college student.
SB: Great, what are they like?
Mr. S: (He provides a description: male, older, Norwegian, studying acting, needed a place to stay immediately)...so he moved in last night.
SB: I hope you washed the sheets.
Mr S: Why? Did you do something to them?
SB: You KNOW I sleep in there.
Mr. S: So?
SB: Eeeeeeew.
Mr. S: What??? It's fine.


Check Linkateria. It is your duty. Or not.

Doom de Doom Doom

You know I am far too delicate a flower to do any such thing, but Mr. Stapler still plays the video game "Doom" every once in a while.

The game places the player, who is armed with high-powered weapons, in a building with horrible-looking monsters who are bent on killing you. The monsters can move around and yell and make noises. It is pretty basic as far as plots go - someone must die, so try to keep it from being you.

The game has been around since 1993 and there are many player-designed variations called Doom WADs. In Mr. Stapler's favorite WAD, one of the things the Terrifying Monsters yell at the player in an attempt to frighten them is "They're all going to laugh at you!"

What a perfect line. Terrifying, indeed. "They're all going to laugh at you!" How much scarier does it get?

How much human effort is expended every single day because of the fear of getting laughed at? Industries rise and fall on the idea. Empires have been won and lost because people were afraid of getting laughed at.

Now whenever we need to, Mr. S and I screech "They're all going to laugh at you" in the monster's voice. It takes the edge off.

That's my Deep Thought^TM to ponder for the day. How much of your life is spent doing things to keep people from laughing at you and how much of it is because what you do geniunely pleases you? Please don't stress. Just think.

If I wasn't afraid of people laughing at me, I would sing louder and more often. I would eat with my fingers. I would drive a purple car. And wear all purple clothes. Unless I wanted to wear pink. Or a feather boa. And a tiara. I would buy and wear those damn Crocs. In a tigerskin pattern.

And I would skip everywhere. Skipping is fun and a perfectly fine form of locomotion (though with my bladder control issues, I would probably have to wear Depends to get away with it). But a 45-year-old woman skipping? They're all going to laugh at me.

What is on YOUR list?


Linkateria today: short, but makes fun of Paris Hilton. What more do you want?

August 22

A photo from Ventura photographer Amery Carlson (he is on Flickr) for Queen of Spain.



...and suddenly, the feel of summer was gone from the air. Just like that.

Has it happened where you are?


The world's ugliest shoes, the world's most emasculating sweaters and scary scary stuff over at Linkateria today.

Six Degrees of Mr. Stapler

Mr. Stapler copied me in on this email to a friend in Modesto, where Mr. S. grew up:

James Marsters [he was Spike in "Buffy",(here's a link to his website) ] was once an employee of mine. He and his [then] wife Lianne, were living in Seattle in the mid-1990s [because of the cool theatre scene] and he did phone sales for a business I co-owned with a fellow ex-Modestan located on Pike Street. He seemed creepy and slick to me. He went on to much fame playing creepy and slick characters. So I was right.

Timothy Olyphant ["Seth Bullock" in HBO's Deadwood series Deadwood website] went to Standiford Elementary School in Modesto. He was in the same kindergarten class as my younger sister. She used to talk about this kid in her class, whom she called "Timmy" or "Timothy Elephant." Apparently, she had quite a crush on him in kindergarten, which just goes to show that there is no substitute for good taste.

Who knew Mr. Stapler was so close to greatness? I might be even more impressed had I ever seen either of the shows in question.

Morning glory

I have no idea why depression is called "The Blues." Blue is the happiest, lightest, breathingist color to me. Depression should be called "The Mustards."

I had been wanting Heavenly Blue morning glories for decades, ever since I saw them on a neighbor's fence in San Luis Obispo.

I finally got some seeds and planted them and grew them to the flowering stage, which, for me, is a Major Life Accomplishment^TM.

Now I walk out every morning and admire their beauty. They are even prettier in person. The magenta ones are the hummingbirds' favorites, though.

Nothing new today on Linkateria, but keep scrolling down. I am sure there is some cool stuff you missed the first time around.