09 April 2006

Things fall apart - this is depressing

You may want to pop a Prozac before reading this.

I have avoided posting as long as I can. I don't know what my problem is - midlife crisis, or mourning over the end of democracy? I'm just so pissed, so bone-deep mad, that George Bush can apparently get away with doing whatever he wants to while we all sit here like Stunned Mullets incapable of even reacting.

I used to run an Amnesty International group and I was soooo proud of being a U.S. citizen. I would write to these foreign dictators and point out that they shouldn't torture, shouldn't hold people without charge or trial, should give the accused access to legal counsel. But then I wake up in 2006 and find that MY country has a leader who thinks that is all ok, that we are holding people in prison for YEARS without charge or trial because of minor visa violations, that we torture and send people to gulags and it is somehow all ok. I feel sick. I love my country, and I want it to live up to those beautiful principles we set forth in our founding documents. I'm a stupid idealist, I know, but that is my nature.

That is only part of it, of course. One of my favorite book titles, and books, is Chinua Achebe's Things Fall Apart. I have just been feeling that things are falling apart so rapidly, and I know others are feeling it too. Polar ice caps, people breaking up, tornadoes, hurricane season around the corner again, taxes due, gas at $3 per gallon...is anyone hopeful anymore? Please feed me a ray of sunshine if you've got one. Otherwise, I will go over to Cute Overload and hang out until I can get my smile back.

PS It is at times like this I want to ask all the mom and dad bloggers - how did you get brave enough to have children? Didn't the crappiness and messed-upness of the world scare you when you were contemplating having kids? Did you think about the polar ice caps melting, about loss of species, including us? I have a bunch of reasons for not having kids, but ecological disaster was a big part of it.

My top ten reasons:
1. I never felt the urge
2. I thought I should not contribute to overpopulation
3. I thought the world was going straight to hell in a handbasket
4. I need a lot of peace and quiet. A lot.
5. I do not find babies at all attractive, generally
6. Sheer laziness
7. If I can't find someone I would like to marry, imagine how much harder it would be to find someone I wanted to breed with
8. I was unconvinced of the wisdom of adding more of my genes to the gene pool
9. I could never imagine affording kids
10. Does the world need more of me? Even half-me? I don't think so.


IzzyMom said...

Dude...kids are way expensive. You were definitely right on that one. And yes, the world DOES need more of you. You're a good (really good) and kind person. We can always use more of that :)

IzzyMom said...

I wasn't going to comment on all the heavy stuff because I'm already in a funk but I do notice all that bad shit and it does bother me. And frankly, no, I'm not all that hopeful. I worry a lot about what the world will be like when my kids are grown up and I do my best to help but I'm just one person. It's quite disheartening. When I decided I was ready to have another baby, I told myself that maybe that he or she will be one of the people that makes the world a better place...

Anonymous said...

Someone has to be the Auntie. A noble calling. Your job is much more subtle, and equally necessary.
Handbaskets have always been popular, all these many years. The world has always been right on the brink as long as I've been here.

Bamboo Lemur Boys Are Mean To Their Girls said...

Oh my god, your top ten reasons made my life worth suffering over. That was truly hilarious. Thank you so much.
As you know, I concur.

Christina said...

My husband and I like to believe we're good people (seriously now, I think we are). In deciding to have kids, the topic of having children in this horrible world did come up.

We hope that we can raise our kids to be the ones who will make a difference in the world. If things will ever get better, we need people to continue to take up the causes. Hopefully we will raise Cordelia and any future children to be advocates for their fellow people, for animals, for the environment, and for themselves.

I agree with you that things are looking very bleak at the moment. I also find myself feeling down about the current state of affairs (although my antidepressant helps with that!).

It's a huge responsibility to raise good kids in this world, and sometimes I wonder why I signed up for this. But if some of the good people out here don't have children and try to raise them to make a difference, then things will only get worse.

And yeah, kids are expensive. Really expensive. But if you ever changed your mind and decided to have kids, I think you'd be a great mom. Like Izzy said, the world needs more caring people like you.

noncommon said...

hang in there baby. okay, overpopulation was my big issue too. and here i sit with three kids! but one has to wonder, if the inclination is there to have babies, how do you settle the wrestling between idealism (morality) and want. there's no good answer for that one. i just figured that maybe one of my kids could offer something to this world that i might not. you know, a cure for cancer, etc. all the noble junk. it's a crap shoot at best. hell, that's all life is, at best. sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you don't. sometimes you have a country full of fearful morons who think the village idiot is the best choice out there. am i hopeful? honestly, hell no! there are too many stupid people - EVERYWHERE! the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is find like minded people. and, for that matter, raise like-minded people! so there, that's my reason for having children. other than the fact that i think my guy is flippin' sexy, out of my one body springs three who will (hopefully) carry on and fight for what's right! three like-minded little kids who don't know that recycling is (unfortunatly) an option. three kids who are beginning to understand global warming, and how their mom is hypocritical for driving all over, everyday, everywhere. the world is frustrating, and scary. my kids probably won't have a pot to piss in. but then that's the way it is for the majority of the world. but at least there will some aspect of their personality that knows they aren't ENTITLED to everything! and that is gonna make the world a little better right there! i think.

spotted elephant said...

I go through cycles. Sometimes I'm so depressed that I can't handle hearing about things. So I take a break whilel others keep fighting. But that's the great thing-you are part of a community, and when your energy is low, others' will be high. After resting, you get back out there and start fighting again.

If you want a glimpse of a tiny slice of the world where all is well, and major problem is that bananas aren't served often enough, check out my blog for today's Monday Bunny Blogging. Sorry for the blog pimpage.

SUEB0B said...

Izzy, Christina, Cameo, Thank you all for your kind comments. I am happy that you think I am parent material. But even if I were to wake up tomorrow with that happy baby feeling, I think that at age 44 my eggs are pretty stale. And a good thing, too - imagine being 60 when your child is 16 - no thanks, Granny!

Gandhi - glad I could make you laugh. Out of all people, YOU oughta know why I shouldn't have kids...you lived under the same roof with me LOL - remember me bursting into hysterics because it rained 28 days in a row and it JUST WAS NOT FAIR?? Ah, those were the days.

Janet - yes, at least the Visgoths haven't invaded the Avenue this week. No handbasket there.

Spotted - I agree. More bananas are in order!@

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