Suebob's Red Stapler

Just in time for mother's day, all you moms out there can go to Salary.com and irritate yourself by calculating what your salary would be if you got paid a fair wage for everything you do. Then you can print out a check (unfortunately non-negotiable) and put it on the fridge to remind everyone.

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Speaking of moms, Mrs. Fortune finally (after 9 long months) is one. She had her baby boy, Jacob, on May 2. And guess what? She had the most beautiful baby on earth! What a surprise! She is back blogging already and promises to have pictures up soon.

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Apparently Rosie O'Donnell had to swear to keep her hair longer to get a job at The View. Why? It seems that short hair would remind everyone that she is, yes, a lesbian. Shocking! Does a lack of hair make you an automatic lesbian? Mrs. Kennedy , Liz at Granny Gets A Vibrator and I seem firmly planted in the hetero camp (though with me you never know - I am about as hetero-unnormative as you can get, with my Subaru Forester and my hiking boots).

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Combat operations have been over in Iraq for three years now. Strange, I hadn't noticed.

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If you thought Stephen Colbert's speech at the White House Correspondents' Dinner rocked, you can go say "thank you" to him over at Thank You Stephen Colbert.org. Almost 50,000 other people already have.

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From the "Duh" file, found somewhere on the Internet that I have since forgotten:
"Sexual images subvert young men's ability to think. In a money game, men who were shown pictures of lingerie or sexy women accepted disadvantageous deals more often than did men who were shown nonsexual pictures." So when you need to go make a major purchase, ladies, dust off that halter top and save a few bucks. The oldest trick in the book.

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It's Webby Awards time again. No, I'm not nominated. I'm sure that must be some kind of mistake. You can go vote for the People's Voice awards. The voting is kind of a pain. You have to enter a confirmation code for each vote, and because the anti-auto-fill-in font is so bad, you often can't tell what it is supposed to be...nevertheless, it's a good place to find good sites you haven't heard of before.

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Day Six of not drinking. It's not like I was a major lush or anything, but my little glass of red wine in the evening had crept up to 2 glasses...or sometimes 3 if it was a special occasion - you know, like an odd-numbered day of the month or if I had had to listen to the guy in the next cubicle click his pen for over 4 hours that day.

I decided I wanted a better life instead of feeling all blurry at the end of the night. I wanted to be more in touch with my real emotions instead of covering them with alcohol. I wanted to give my liver a break and I wanted to walk my talk as a spiritually growing person.

I have managed to make it past the wine dept at Trader Joe's without too much difficulty. But I have to admit that this better life stuff is kind of a trudge at times. Like when I look at the empty spot where the bottle of gin used to be in the freezer, then at that basket of lonely limes.