10 Things that piss me off

First - today on Linkateria:transgendered children, bad weddings, bad hair days and an experiment in Black Media Immersion.

Mrs. Fortune started this today and I am following along like a lemming.

10 things that piss me off

1. Tinted windows in cars. Pedestrians can't see what drivers are looking at and other drivers can't see what they are looking at, either. Its rude, dangerous and inconsiderate, not to mention illegal.

2. Being told I am against America because I don't support the president's policies or the war. Dissent is a founding principle of this country. That's why it is enshrined in the FIRST Amendment to the Constitution. Without dissent, we might as well be the Soviets under Stalin.

3. Prejudice against homosexuals on religious grounds. Christians were against civil rights for African-Americans on religious grounds, too. I remember our Christian neighbors telling us that blacks and whites shouldn't marry because it was God's will. They were wrong then and they are wrong now. I just wish they would admit to being bigots.

4. People that have to open bathroom door handles with a paper towel. What are you, Howard Hughes? If you can't survive germs from the bathroom door handle, you might as well kill yourself now and remove your weak self from the gene pool. And thanks for throwing the towels on the floor by the door. Klassy.

5. Companies that call to do satisfaction surveys after they have performed a service for me. You know what would satisfy me? It would satisfy me not to be bugged by these kinds of calls. Believe me, if there was something wrong, I would have let them know. And if there was something truly outstanding, I would have let them know that, too. Just call me Mouthy McCommentpants.

6. Morning newspapers. When I got an afternoon paper, I used to come home from work, wait for John, my 76-year-old paperboy to deliver my daily news, make a cup of coffee, toss in a splash of Kahlua and have a pleasant half-hour reading on the porch. With a morning paper, I stagger out of bed, make breakfast, try to eat with one hand and flip pages with the other, all the while keeping one eye on the clock, knowing that if I take the time to read the long feature story, I have to take a 2 minute shower to make up for it. Its just not any fun. I cancelled my subscription. Pretty funny considering I work for the newspaper as my second job.

7. Lawns. Only people with children under 10 should be allowed to have more than 100 square feet of lawn. I mean, really, what is the point of all this labor-intensive pesticide-soaked water-wasting greenery? We're gonna miss the water when it is all gone.

8. Hummers. Not the kind that guys like. The kind with four wheels. To people who drive these monstrous things - no one thinks you're cool, except for other idiots. But I guess that is the target market.

9. Excess packaging. Does everything need to be hermetically sealed in tough plastic so that you come close to slicing off a finger on the package when trying to open it? I can't even open this stuff with those big fat shears from the kitchen that can chop through a raw chicken.

10. People who think that their little designer outfit gives them the right to look up and down their noses at your clothing with a bitchy expression on their face. These people are all over Southern California. I work with one egregious example. Little Coach bag, $200 jeans...I want to tell her that no matter what she wears, with that look on her mug, she ain't never gonna be pretty.

I had 10 things to be grateful for, too, but I forgot to email them to myself, so that will be another day.