26 June 2006

Bienvenidos a Red Stapler

Today on Linkateria: Stinky cheese and octupus balls. How can you resist THAT teaser?


Welcome a new reader to Red Stapler. Yes, after 172 posts and 6 months, Mr. Stapler finally found my blog.

He knew I blogged, of course, but I didn't tell him where and he did not ask. I figured that it was either easy enough to find or that he could ask me if he wanted to know.

Now of course I can be less careful about what I say. Before, if I ripped on him too bad, I would have felt like I was picking on someone who was defenseless. Now he is in the ring, so let the Truth Games begin. I am in the dark trunks and I have a mean left jab.

He is in the Superman cape and he used to be a lawyer. It should be almost a fair fight.

Ding! Ding!

In other news, continuing proof of my madness in case the judge needs any more at my commitment hearing:

The dog was restless all night. She would NOT go outside to pee or to patrol for trespassing cats, as she usually does at least once per night. When I went to the bathroom, she came in and leaned on my legs, trembling.

When I got up, it wasn't any better. She still would not go outside, would not eat (not even TOAST!) and had to be in the same room as me, even when I was taking a shower.

I concluded only one thing was possible: we were in for an earthquake. I filled up all of my emergency water bottles and began loading the car with necessary supplies - sleeping bag, canned food, batteries, flashlights, sturdy clothing, coolers.

Yes, on a Monday headed for work, I loaded my car as if I were going on a camping trip. Because my dog was trembling. Doesn't that make perfect sense to you?

I drove across town to drop her at my parents' house.

"Did you hear all the thunder last night?" Mom asked.

"Uh, nope," I answered.

Goldie hates thunder.


super des said...

well thunder is kind of like an earthquake. My cat can stand thunder until it gets to the point where it really rattles the windows. Then he's off. I don't think he's running from the thunder; I think he doesn't want to get hit by glass when the window explodes.

And welcome to Mr. Stapler. Now you have to be a good girl.

Chantal said...

Snort! I would have done something like that.

Looking forward to seeing you and Mr Stapler spar online!

Izzy said...

Awww...that reminds of my old Boo. She used to shake and shiver over thunder we couldn't hear or feel.

gandhi rules said...

Oops. There was thunder? Well at least you have extra water for a while.

Hi Mr. Stapler, robin here. How the hell are you?

wordgirl said...

Welcome, Mr. Stapler. We'll try to be gentle with you.

Holly Capote said...

You're a groovy girl, Suebob, and smart to pay attention to your critters.

I once utterly awoke on a calm summer night. I was camped on the Mississippi and I knew that something was out there: coming. I listened and listened and listened. It was quiet, but I waited. And then it arrived: a terrible storm. Luckily, I was wide awake and ready. I awoke the woman I was with and we ran to the car and slept there. The next morning, boats were beached and a killer tree limb had fallen on our tent. The moral: we know more than we think we know and our critters do too.

Suzanne said...

I thought she might have had a UTI. Glad it was just thunder.

Lisa said...

Ahhh the thunder... But hey, at least now you're prepared for an earthquake. :-)

Anonymous said...

I think you are one resourceful and responsible chick!!

I would have just turned up the TIVO, remembered where the carpet cleaner was, told the dog to GO LAY DOWN and rolled over.

and with my luck... there would have been an earthquake. :)

kokopelliwoman said...

You are freakin' hilarious, girl! My best dog Sabine, a gorgeous, sweet Aussie would not break skin contact with me for a whole, clear as a bell day, even to go to pee, trembling all the while. Suddenly, the monster central attic fan sucked in the opposite direction, my ears popped, the windows creaked, and a tornado dipped down and ripped a whole block of trees up by their roots and deposited them across the street like a bunch of pick-up sticks. Animals ALWAYS know more than we do. ALWAYS.

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