30 June 2006

Question of the Day

Everyone at work is asking "What are you doing for the Fourth?"

Hm. What do "normal" people do? Cook out slabs of E. coli-laced meat, eat potato salad that has been sitting in the sun long enough to spawn food poisoning and drink a lot of cheap American beer.

Once properly liquored up, they handle dangerous explosives, usually with kids standing nearby.

Gosh I don't know. I think I will be busy hiding under the couch with my dog.

I'm almost as sensitive as Goldie, so the Fourth has always been my least favorite holiday. I think hiding under the couch is a perfectly reasonable response to the hoopla.

And I don't even want to get into the whole patriotism thing because I'm afraid I will begin holding my knees and rocking and muttering about the first amendment, the Geneva convention and the general nutlessness of the Democratic party.

And I'm not just in a bad mood because my birthday falls soon after and I will be officially old. I'm in a bad mood because I share my birthday with George Bush.

All I need to say about Linkateria today is that it has a link to a site about third nipples. Isn't that enough?


super des said...

I'm just happy I get a 4 day weekend. That's holiday enough.

super des said...

oh yeah, and my bday is the same as Donald Trump and Boy George. I've always said that Trump owes me money, but to no avail.

Jenijen said...

Yeah, the fourth creeps me out, too. Cause aren't the fireworks *supposed* to look like bombs or something? niiiiice!

Your sister said...

The fourth of July fireworks are a picture of the joy my heart felt when Daddy told me you were born...

Suzanne said...

I think your birthday redeems the day from the evil that is known as George W. Bush. May your birthday wishes come true!

cameo said...

aha! suebob is a cancer! no wonder i like you! my dad's a cancer, my son, & one of my dearest friends. so, hello fellow water baby. and no, this doesn't mean i have any affection for the burning bush.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry you don't love it more. It is my FAVE holiday. No gifts to exchange.. no stoopid tree to decorate... no eggs to hide.

We just have a great time with friends and family watching our small town parade and fireworks.There is barely anyone to watch the parade.. because everyone is riding their lawn mower IN the parade.

By the way... I share my Feb 10th birthday with MArk Spitz and George Stephanopolaus. Woo Woo.

Lisa said...

Thanks for the link this past week. It MADE my week, actually!

I linked you to my site. I hope you don't mind. If you do, let me know and I can take it off.

bbuckman said...

If you really want to get away from the 4th of July mania come to Mexico. No fuss, no muss...we just don't get it.

By the way, what does 'offically old' mean? I thought it was 65. Now I hoping it's 75. And, when were we 'officially young'? I don't remember.

Holly Capote said...

I liked the Fourth of July into it morphed into the All of July. Maybe you guys don't live in a hood, but when you do, the fireworks aren't confined to the Fourth. There are explosion happy morons that launch their faux bombs every fucking night.

Suebob, please take care of this.

Thank you.

SUEB0B said...

Thank you all for the kind wishes. My bday is not only shared with GW Idiot Monkey Face Bush, but with Nancy Reagan and Sylvester Stallone. A trio of pleasantness. It makes me worry about astrology.

Thank you, dear sister. It is so lovely to know that someone on earth feels that way about me.

Holly - yes, I live in one of THOSE neighborhoods. We are already on Day 4 of Random Dog Scaring Explosions. I feel so bad for my poor pooch.

Marigoldie said...

Guess what--I share my birthday with RONALD Reagan.

And Zsa Zsa Gabor & Axl Rose.

And Babe Ruth.
And Bob Marley.

Izzy said...

Ha! You describe a lot of idiots in my general neighborhood.

Naturally, I fantasize about them blowing off a limb or two and serving as a cautionary tale for all the other assholes of the world.

Hasn't happened yet.

MUST. WISH. HARDER. *closing eyes tightly*

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