(I have NO idea what that title means, but Carol Kelsey-Frilot, my wonderful co-worker, used to say it all the time.)
My sis has been visiting from Seattle this week. She works at a high school up there. Are you sitting down? Because she says the latest kid-trend is - get this - leaving price tags on clothes.
Yep, it isn't enough to wear expensive designer duds. Now you have to be able to show proof you bought them FULL PRICE. Crazy, no?
My mom had the perfect question: what happens when they need to be washed?
Update: apparently the Beeb was onto this months ago.
A new one on me: I was invited to a wedding next weekend. Normally, I would have to send my regrets, because I am going to be at BlogHer. But no. I wasn't invited to the actual wedding. I was invited to a webcast of a wedding. No shit. Here are the instructions, condensed for your viewing pleasure (my comments in bold):
Your Friend Who Never Calls You Even Though You Leave Lots of Messages and His Fiancee You Have Never Met have listed you as potential online guests for their wedding. In order to ensure that you are able to view the wedding, we have put together the following tutorial.
1. At least a day or two before the wedding, if possible, visit our website at www.chapelofexploitativeinternetlove.com and click on "View a Wedding" in the left-hand panel. Choose any wedding that has the "free viewing" icon next to it, and click on the names of the couple in order to watch it. If a video starts, then you shouldn't have any problems viewing Your So-Called Friends' wedding.
2. deleted: blah blah blah troubleshooting It is highly recommended that you either watch on a high-speed connection or pay to download the wedding.How conveeeeenient that I can pay to download!
3. deleted: more instructions blah blah
4. Even though you aren't able to personally attend the wedding, interesting you should say that, because I wasn't actually INVITED to the wedding you can let the happy couple know of your love by having us deliver a toast or a gift to the couple on your behalf. Again, how convenient! Thank you for making it easy for me to drop some cash on this Click on the couple's names, and scroll down toward the bottom of the page, where you will see the links to order a toast or a gift. If you order a toast we will deliver the message that you write, along with a fresh-cut rose, to the couple directly following the wedding. Likewise, if you order gifts enough in advance for us to process the order, we will deliver them to the couple after the wedding (Usually even 10-15 minutes is enough time for us to retrieve the crappy gifts from the crappy gift vault, but the sooner the better). Please call or e-mail if you have any questions.
5. deleted: more instructions for the technologically challenged
As you prepare for the wedding, we hope you will join us in wishing the happy couple all the best in love and happiness for their marriage. We want to do what we can to help you feel included, too, even if you are a continent away. We want you to feel included - even though you AREN'T actually. Please do not hesitate to call or send us an e-mail if you have any questions or need help viewing the couple's video. It is our pleasure to assist you.
Enjoy the wedding!as you sit in your stained jammies peering at a choppy low-res picture on your 4-year-old Dell. Did you remember to send a gift? No? Click now! Really! We mean it! Cash would be best!
Chapel of the Exploitation
My spam subject lines have been getting more and more graphic and disturbing. Another reason not to have kids: so you don't have to explain when they ask you "Mom, what's 'Latina teen g3tting it in 3 h0les' mean?" as you are reading your emails.
Today's was kind of funny though: "My peenis is always hard and is able to move without interruption!" It leads me to want to know: Always? Really? Isn't that kind of inconvenient at the grocery store? And "able to move without interruption"? Do you usually have interruptions? What kind of interruptions? How long do they last? Is it really sort of a paralysis, or what?