I have to go do that stupid health fair thing again tomorrow. Four more hours of listening to the same stupid new age music.
This from a woman who walked out of a George Winston concert, ready to commit murder, feeling completely justified because of the crimes against music that man committed.
Don't make me go!! Can you think of an excuse?
Jake, of the Blues Brothers: I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locust's. It wasn't my fault!! I swear to God!!
I could have sworn he said "The bridge was up." It is funny how we imagine these things. Laura??
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How about: "I'm not feeling well due to the meat and wood I ingested in my taco salad."?
TB - Thanks for my first laugh of the morning.
Say you're not feeling well. You can't go to a health fair feeling shitty, right?
PMS? But you know put it like this, "I'm experiencing a little PMS and you know, (pause, now use your devil voice) if you make me go I will personally shove a pile of these brochures up your nostril and then take that CD of demonized music and insert it in your ..."
You'd still have a job right?
I was on the mooooon. With Steve.
I have one word for you: diarrhea. Just say "Diarrhea" and no one will ask any questions. "I had diarrhea last night..." Do you want to hear the end of that story? Of course not. And it's non-specific enough that you could say anything from "food poisoning" to "gall bladder disease" if asked for details later.
When you're sittin' in a pool and you feel somethin' cool...
The creek was riz!
I spent six hours on Saturday next to a guy who'd invented something called the Mackhoe. 'Cause it was like a backhoe and his name was Mack. Get it? (Not the real name, but trust me: it was just as good.)
The best part was that he'd made a little video. Rock the Casbah, every five minutes. For SIX HOURS.
I feel your pain.
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