02 July 2007

Judgement and ridicule

I read a comment on a friend's blog a while back that irked the hell out of me, so I wrote a post about it. I didn't attack the commenter or mention her personally, other than to call her opinion "shit."

In return, she commented back:
"I should like to hope we are able to form our own opinions and be able to share them without ridicule or judgment."

(I have removed her comment so that no one can track her down, because this isn't personal.)

But I have major issues with someone who comments on my blog and then asks me not to judge them.

I think the idea that we shouldn't judge is one of the top mush-brained concepts of recent history, right up there with "unconditional love." We have these big, complex, capable brains for a reason, don't we?

Here is the deal: I'll try not to judge you for the way you look, where you are from, what you do for a living, your race, color or religion. But dang me, I will judge you for 2 things: your action and your opinions, because they are a result of free will and therefore define who you are.

If you have stupid opinions and dare to state them in public, expect to be challenged.

If you are going to express your opinions publicly, I expect the following:
That you will think before expressing them.
That you will be able to back up your opinions with facts.
That you can explain your reasoning in a clear and cogent way.
That you will expect to be questioned and will be willing to respond to queries in a civil fashion.
That you will admit when you might be wrong if you can't do the above.

There are any bloggers with whom I have had disagreements large and small. Mothergoosemouse is an atheist Republican, for goodness' sake (Still, Julie??) and yet we somehow manage to engage in meaningful discourse without any animosity.

Do I judge Mothergoosemouse? Yes. I judge her to be intelligent and thoughtful. We may disagree on certain points, but I can see how she arrives at her opinions, and I can't fault her thought process.

On the other hand, when I read ridiculous opinions that are based on nothing but some random thoughts and feelings floating through someone's head, I will judge and I will challenge. That's just the way it goes around here. Consider yourself forewarned.


QT said...

OMG -you crack me up. I feel the exact same way.

Day Dreamer said...

Very well put!

(Oh, now I'm somehow turned ON!!!)


Suzanne said...

I like it. It is a fair and rational system. And how on earth can people learn if we are not willing to hear other peoples' reactions to our thoughts? I personally have re-evaluated where I stood on various issues after other people have challenged my ideas. Sometimes I stand by my original thoughts, but other times I realize that I didn't fully understand something or know all the facts, and I change my mind.

That's what discourse is about! Thanks Suebob.

Dana said...

I would prefer to just be friendly and not have to keep reading about myself on your blog.

I do not know what you dislike about me. I only wish you'd just e-mail me instead of writing about me, knowing I'll read it.

I'll make sure not to comment on your blog further.

Have a great day, Suebob.

Amanda said...

What you're saying is totally rational and I completely agree. There is something going on, however, when it comes to women and parenting. We aren't allowed to take a stand or have an opinion without being labeled "judgmental" and for some reason that label stings. See: every time I've ever talked about breastfeeding on my website for an example.

We're entering an interesting era in which there are no objective standards of right and wrong. Everything is subjective and based on the life experience and perspective of the individual. It makes debate difficult and something I avoid like the plague.

one smarmy mama said...

You know, dear, that this is the first thing I'm going to grill you about on Saturday, right? I can't for the life of me imagine what someone could say to inspire you to call the opinion "shit".

But anyways............I wholeheartedly agree. I get into my fair share of "discussions" on mommy subjects that end in "Don't judge me for my actions!" or where I get called judgemental like it's a bad thing.

But I firmly believe and place a lot of faith in the things God gave us to survive.........and for some odd reason, it seems woven into the human fabric to judge. It keeps us safe, it keeps us healthy, we use judgment daily. I hate when it's all of the sudden turned around like using ones judgment is a *bad* thing.

I don't think I'm any more or less judgmental than the next girl, I just open my mouth about it a lot more often.

Anyways..........yeah. What you said.

Y said...

Good thing I don't have opinions. I hate being judged.

meno said...

Thanks for the warning. I think i'll adopt your credo for my own, with full credit given, of course.

mothergoosemouse said...

Oh Suebob, how I love you! Thank you for the kind, rational words.

And yes - still atheist. Still registered as a Republican. Views align most closely with Libertarianism though, just to be clear.

MsLittlePea said...

Sounds reasonable to me.

SUEB0B said...

Daydreamer - That is certainly a strange effect.

Dana - I didn't email you or mention your name in either post because, as I said, this is not personal. It is just a reaction to things I disagree with - like the idea that not challenging each other when we disagree equals being friendly. My best friends are people that I can vehemently disagree with, discuss, chew over ideas, and part at the end with the same good feelings we started with. That was my main point.

Kentucky Girl said...

LOL! I'm an Evil Republican. But I'm a California Republican...which is like....a normal Democrat to the rest of the country. :D

Laura said...

This is why I love you Suebob.
No false pretenses.
I finally made some posts after a long respite.

Alex Elliot said...

Here, here! I agree!

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