10 December 2008


I belong to a group that I will call Club Dumbass. They have never had a membership roster, so I offered to put one together for them at last month's meeting. They passed around a sheet and put down their info. I compiled an Excel sheet and emailed it to everyone for correction.

Woman 1: Thanks for emailing me the roster
Guy 1: I didn't get a roster emailed to me.
Women 2, 3 and 4, in a shocked and dismayed fashion: Neither did we!

Guy 1 had given me the wrong email address. Women 2,3, and 4 were not at the last meeting. So they wouldn't be on the roster, now, would they? COULD THEY HAVE PUZZLED THAT OUT FOR THEMSELVES?

Ok, I am passing a new roster sheet for those of you who weren't at the last meeting. I already have everyone else's information.

So Club Dumbass passes the sheet and 15 out of 20 people sign it, including 12 people who had already signed it at the last meeting and both halves of a husband and wife team who have the same exact contact info. IS NO ONE CAPABLE OF FIGURING THIS STUFF OUT BUT ME?



Unloading groceries at the market for my weekly Mom & Dad shopping adventure. There are so many items that they fill up the whole rotating belt thingy. I get Dad's carton of Budweiser out from under the cart and put it at the very end, on the metal piece at the back end of the belt.

I have to move my cart up and begin fotzing with coupons and Club Cards. The checker checks groceries.

Suddenly, from behind me, the woman next in line points to the beer, which has been left by itself at the end of the belt.

"Do you want this beer, or not?"

Hm. Let me see. I clearly took the beer out from under my cart and put it at the end of the belt following $178 worth of other groceries. What are the chances that I DO NOT WANT THE FREAKING BEER AND JUST PUT IT ON THE VERY END OF THE BELT FOR THE HECK OF IT? HM?

"Oh, yes, please," I say politely. I suck.


Tell me your stupid human story.


mar said...

that's how i felt after my landlord stopped me yesterday morning asking if he could come over & replace my busted garbage disposal last night. because he stopped me, i missed my bus which meant walking the mile to work in 10 degree weather.
then i waited until 9:30 for him to show up. no call, nothing. this is the man who said while replacing my fan 'i don't have very many iqs'
btw, my word verification is 'bumpin'

LittlePea said...

I have to put myself up on there in the stupid people section for a minute. Yesterday I went to go buy some chocolate at a gourmet candy shop. After paying and walking out the door, I turned around and ran back in because I thought I lost my keys. The two people(one customer and the owner) started to help me look for my keys. After about 2 mintues I realised my keys were in my back pocket. I felt like such a jackass.

Project Christopher said...

As a conference planner I meet with supid humans on a day to day basis. I feel bad because I'm sure not everyone on the planet is as at home in a hotel as I have turned out to be. But I still try to answer their dumb questions as if it were the smartest question I've heard yet. But how would YOU carefully point out the answer to "Where's the Grand Ballroom?" when you and the physician attendee asking the question are standing right in front of the Grand Ballroom????

SUEB0B said...

Christopher - your job requires diplomacy and people skills...two of my weaknesses.

Julie said...

I work with a woman new to our company who gets so easily frustrated at things she doesn't understand, that it takes a good deal of time just to sit there are watch her spin out of control. If she cannot log in (because despite how many times you tell her that her user name is her actual name, and no, it doesn't have a P in it) she will start banging the keys and throwing paper around. Since I am training her in HER office, there is nowhere for me to go. GAH

Suzanne said...

This morning my brother-in-law coined the word "rantom," which is to be used for rambling rants on random topics. I love it, and feel that this post very nicely lives up to the new term.

Ericka said...

i am currently living in rural nc - my rants are endless. among them, no one here can drive. you have no idea how ironic i find it that this state was the birthplace of nascar. makes me NUTS. also, nothing is ever open when i need it to be and the next person to give me a fake smile and an excuse instead of doing their damn job is going to need significant dental work by the time i'm done with them... even more so than they do currently. grrr.

ooh. rantom. i'm totally stealing that word. :-)

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