Life in surferland

I saw this guy's bike surfboard rack and thought it was so cool that I geeked out and asked him if I could take photos of it. He was cooperative and wanted to tell me all about it.

He said it's not just eco-friendly and economical - it has another advantage:

"If it's cold and you drive down to the beach, you get out and of the car and you're cold," he said. "And then if it's big [the waves] and you have to paddle out, you're all stiff and not warmed up.

"But if you ride your bike to the beach, even if it's cold, you're warm when you get here and you're ready to go surf!"

I don't surf but I love living near a great surf spot. Watching surfers is the best meditation ever. There's something so relaxing about watching them be so graceful and daring and even considerate as they weave in and out among each other on the crowded waves.

Surfers and surf culture help make this a great place to live, because surfers are usually in a good mood - if the waves are good. I think it's hard to be stressed after you have spent a couple hours working out while simultaneously doing something really, really fun.

The list

My friends Spike, Lucky Spud and Doodle went to Vegas on an ill-fated trip and had so many bad things happen that they finally started a bulleted list, just so they could remember them all, lest they leave anything out of the tale of woe.

It is in this spirit of marinating in the badness that I bring you: My Week, The List of Horror

1. Mom got chest pains


2. Poor Swine Flu baby spewing germs all over ER waiting room


3. Blessedly short Swine Flu emergency waiting room wait


4. Followed by all-day in Swine Flu Emergency Room


5. Noisy, horrible, uncomfortable ER packed to capacity


6. Dad such a mess he didn't recognize a restaurant where he had eaten literally hundreds of times


7. No water or bedpan for mom for hours at a time


8. No food offered for mom from 7 am to 9 pm


9. Angioplasty


10. My last day at work cut to 2 hours squeezed in


11. Cleaning my cubicle


12. Saying goodbye to beloved co-workers in a rush


13. 3 day old dishes rotting at home


14. Not able to spend any time at home because landlord was sealing driveway and Goldie was trapped in hot car


15. Standing in hospital hallway for 90 minutes with 91-year-old dad and sis because no one knew where mom was


16. 3 nights on my folks' "block of cement" guest room bed


17. Return of sciatic pain in my legs due to #16


18. Saturday spent at medical labs, with Medicare nurse and doing a freelance job


19. Sunday morning flat tire


20. Tire store closed on Sunday

Ok, it wasn't ALL bad.

1. Mom made a good recovery. They caught it just in time.


2. My sis PK came far to rescue us when I was freaking out because the angioplasty fell on my last day at work and I needed to go clean out my cubicle and say goodbye. She really, really saved the day.


3. A nice hospital employee named Devin very kindly walked me and my lost dad around the hospital when we couldn't find mom, and his sweet gesture swept the rest of the staff's cluelessness and rudeness right away.


4. Mom promised to go back on her heart meds.


5. If nothing else, it kept me from thinking about my last week at work


6. I had an understanding manager who said "Of course family comes first" when I needed to take time off

Tell me about the FUN thing you did this week.

Big tough cops in pink shirts

I saw these police officers at the 3-Day Walk for Breast Cancer in San Diego this weekend. For the weekend, the "thin blue line" turned into a pink line - which I think is pretty dang cool.

One love

My sister lay there, intubated, paralyzed, her lips cracked and dry around the plastic tube that had been forced down her throat.

I sat there alone with her, listening to the machines beep and hum, the air being forced in and out of her body.

"I wish we were at a Neville Brothers concert instead of doing this," I said.

Her eyes widened. She turned her head toward me. Around the tube, she mouthed, "No shit."

Both of us sat there in silence, tears leaking from our eyes.

"Oh, god, this sucks," I said. That was the last thing I remember saying to her. Doctors came in, the bustle of the hospital started, and she died the next morning.

*******

Yesterday I sat in the shade on a hillside on a perfect warm day, thousands of people in beach chairs crowding the hill below me, a open-air stage at the bottom.

When the Neville Brothers took the stage, I burst into tears again, remembering. CC and Jim comforted me as I spilled my story.

Then I went down and bounced around like a dancing fool on the lawn in front of the stage.

When Aaron sang a medley of "Amazing Grace," "One Love" and "Train to Jordan," my heart was stretched wide open with joy. I know she was there with me. She had to be.

One of my more unbelievable posts, if you know me

CC got me to go see a small community production of "Tommy" last night.

I KNOW.

Those who know me are aware of how much I hate musicals. And of how much I hate psychedelic-era anything beyond tie-dyed t-shirts.

(A note on why I hate musicals and why I love opera: in opera, the people can sing and they sing everything, so it is all of a piece. In musicals, you get action, then the action is interrupted with song and dance in such a weird phony way. Plus they do that yelly singing. Ick. No, I do NOT want to go see "Wicked," with you.)

So CC kind of had to drag me to see Tommy. My friend Jim went too, also reluctantly.

We had a great time.

It was fun in a "Let's Put on a Show," kind of way. These local people, mostly young, all talented, found a performance space, rehearsed, made costumes, put together a multi-media kind of thing...and it was really great. The place was packed and everyone in the audience knew someone who was performing.

At the end, there were flowers tossed and lighters and cell phones waved á la a real rock concert, and goodwill flowed like wine.

It's always interesting to me, the things we need almost as much as food and water to keep us alive. Art. Drama. Literature. Music. Beauty. People will die for these things, literally. Something in us is fed by these crazy, abstract things we do. What feeds you?

How we treat each other

Some fans from the parade yesterday. Couldn't we all use a cheering section?

I've been thinking about the effects people have on each other lately. How different energies make us feel.

This line of thought was inspired by some of the coolest people on the internet: Jen Lemen, Tracey Clark, and Andrea Scher.

Even though I don't know these women well, I see their influence everywhere in the blog world. It is like ripples in a pond. The people who come closest to them become more creative, braver, more filled with life.

And then there are other people. The opposites. Those who suck your life energy, who drag you down, who leave the world a little darker each day. They aren't necessarily evil. In most cases, it just seems like they can't help themselves.

Imagine this: you are given an award. Some random award from work or an organization you belong to. You are probably going to tell people you know. There are those you can't wait to tell, because they say things like:

• That is great! You so deserve it!
  
• I know you have worked hard and I love seeing you get rewarded
  
• This is just the beginning of good things for you
  

Their eyes shine, they hug you, they want to make you do more.

There are others who you don't feel so good about telling. You hope that they will share your happiness, that they will, for once, be able to be there for you, to cheer you on. But once again you are disappointed as you hear them say:

• Oh, I bet they give lots of those awards
  
• That's what they give you instead of money
  
• Awards don't really mean much
  

The black cloud descends. Your energy level sinks. It's like they can't wait for you to climb up a little so they can knock you back down. Like they take your happiness and feed the endless black hole they have inside themselves.

If you call the dark people out about their negativity, they counter with something like "I'm just being realistic," meaning it is YOU who is wrong, not them.

I don't know what it is in me that gets me so pulled in to the darkness and so dismissive of the light. But I am going to work on believing the supportive people and in keeping away from the others.

I have already come a long way. I have had to work like hell to climb out of some of the holes I have let myself be pushed down into - places where I doubted my purpose, my talents, my very reason for existing. I have been there and I'm not going back.

Anyone want to join me in jumping up toward the light?