I am going back to Illinois tomorrow night. I know I can't help my sis, but I am going off my nut being so far away.
Please pray for traveling mercies, or whatever it is you do. Thank you, everyone, for your kind thoughts and words.
I will see you in Chicago in 2 months under happier circumstances, I hope. Or if you are in the Chicagoland area now, email me and maybe we can have coffee - snackishblogATyahoo.com - sometime this week.
Updates will follow.
07 May 2007
06 May 2007
Like a Mastercard commercial
My friend from church, Dee, is 89 years old. Her 95-year-old sis lives just 75 miles away, but because neither of them drive, they hadn't seen each other for 3 years.
Dee often talked of how she wished that she could still drive so that she could go down and see her sister. I filed that away in my memory bank. When I bought my new car, I called Dee the next day to tell her that we needed to make that trip.
New Car: $15,000
5 gallons of gas: $17
Seeing this reunion: Priceless
*********
I am looking for a BlogHer 07 roomie. I am staying at the W. It is already booked. It is around $200 a night, so your tab would be half that plus whatever you eat from the mini-bar.
My room will not be the party all night room. It will be the flop-down-and-hide-your-head room when you need to retreat from the madness that is BlogHer.
But there will be Tanqueray. And tonic. And limes. And internet access.
If you need a reference, last year I stayed with Elizabeth from Table for Five. She can attest to the fact that I am kind of nice AND I bring presents.
In the case of more than one offer, I will decide who gets the awesome privelege of bunking with me by a Secret Formula given to me by an old gypsy woman. Or by whoever gives the best bribes.
*******
My sis still isn't out of the woods. Thanks for your continuing thoughts, hopes and prayers.
Dee often talked of how she wished that she could still drive so that she could go down and see her sister. I filed that away in my memory bank. When I bought my new car, I called Dee the next day to tell her that we needed to make that trip.
New Car: $15,000
5 gallons of gas: $17
Seeing this reunion: Priceless
*********
I am looking for a BlogHer 07 roomie. I am staying at the W. It is already booked. It is around $200 a night, so your tab would be half that plus whatever you eat from the mini-bar.
My room will not be the party all night room. It will be the flop-down-and-hide-your-head room when you need to retreat from the madness that is BlogHer.
But there will be Tanqueray. And tonic. And limes. And internet access.
If you need a reference, last year I stayed with Elizabeth from Table for Five. She can attest to the fact that I am kind of nice AND I bring presents.
In the case of more than one offer, I will decide who gets the awesome privelege of bunking with me by a Secret Formula given to me by an old gypsy woman. Or by whoever gives the best bribes.
*******
My sis still isn't out of the woods. Thanks for your continuing thoughts, hopes and prayers.
04 May 2007
File under "Things that could only happen to me"
My cute new little Honda Fit needed a quick wash, so I went in search of one of those tunnel kind of car washes where you pay with a debit card, drive in and park, and the wash mechanism thingy just travels over your car and then you drive out, clean and shiny.
I had just walked the dog out in wildernessland, so I had my usual weed-covered yoga pants and Angels spring training t-shirt on. But what the heck, I wasn't going to get out of the car.
Bwwwwaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaa.
I saw the "car wash" sign next to a Jiffy Lube. I pulled up. A guy waved me into the carwash tunnel, no debit card required, and started the wash. At the end, it didn't have the usual blast of air step to dry my car, so I was kinda bummed.
I pulled out and the guy pointed me to a parking spot. He had a basket of towels. Ah, hand dry. Then I realized I was going to have to go in and pay the jiffy lube cashier in my fatass yoga pants.
I went into the lobby and stood there while 50 people wondered what the hell I was doing in public with those ugly pants stretched over my large butt. And stood there.
After about 5 minutes, a guy finally came to the cashier stand. He was puzzled because my car wasn't on the list. "The Toyota?" he kept asking. I was getting more and more pissed because I just wanted to pay for my carwash and get out of there.
"Uh, that's ok, you can just go," he said. I held out money. He shook his head.
I suddenly realized something. You can't get a car wash at Jiffy Lube. Unless you get a lube. They didn't have any idea how to deal with someone who just boldly drove into their car wash and didn't want any other services. There was no price for it, no button on the cash register for it.
"That is the cheapest carwash I have ever gotten," I said, blushing madly and scampering my yoga pants butt back to my shiny clean car.
I had just walked the dog out in wildernessland, so I had my usual weed-covered yoga pants and Angels spring training t-shirt on. But what the heck, I wasn't going to get out of the car.
Bwwwwaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaa.
I saw the "car wash" sign next to a Jiffy Lube. I pulled up. A guy waved me into the carwash tunnel, no debit card required, and started the wash. At the end, it didn't have the usual blast of air step to dry my car, so I was kinda bummed.
I pulled out and the guy pointed me to a parking spot. He had a basket of towels. Ah, hand dry. Then I realized I was going to have to go in and pay the jiffy lube cashier in my fatass yoga pants.
I went into the lobby and stood there while 50 people wondered what the hell I was doing in public with those ugly pants stretched over my large butt. And stood there.
After about 5 minutes, a guy finally came to the cashier stand. He was puzzled because my car wasn't on the list. "The Toyota?" he kept asking. I was getting more and more pissed because I just wanted to pay for my carwash and get out of there.
"Uh, that's ok, you can just go," he said. I held out money. He shook his head.
I suddenly realized something. You can't get a car wash at Jiffy Lube. Unless you get a lube. They didn't have any idea how to deal with someone who just boldly drove into their car wash and didn't want any other services. There was no price for it, no button on the cash register for it.
"That is the cheapest carwash I have ever gotten," I said, blushing madly and scampering my yoga pants butt back to my shiny clean car.
02 May 2007
I am so special
I am posting this photo because the people who know me and love me will say "Yep, that is our Suebob," and the rest of you can see it and feel better about yourselves.
Here's the setup: I had finished doing dishes and was going to take the little sink strainer thing out and shake the collected schmutz out into the trash.
I used the foot pedal to open the trash, shook the strainer, and somehow managed to let the lid close again in that split second. Voila:
Something that could only happen to me, Queen Klutz. Yes, that is gook on the wall, too. Nice.
After I did that, I sat down and found a tick on my boob. AAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRGGGG! Remind me to go see the doc if I get a bullseye rash.
Updates:
Thank you so much for all the thoughts and prayers for my sis. You people are *snif* the best. I love you all.
******
I found out that the camp in "Jesus Camp" closed after the release of the film due to bad publicity and vandalism at the camp site. Reading around the internet, I found that most evangelicals seemed to want to distance themselves from this type of camp and the activities promoted there. Most people just aren't that extreme in their beliefs, thank goodness.
*****
I spent a post wanking about my water aerobics instructor the other day, but I have to say that I am feeling and looking better since I began going 3x a week. I sleep better and have more energy and have even lost some weight. So yay for water aerobics. I guess I can put up with BC and her ilk. I will just work on my Bershon face some more.
Here's the setup: I had finished doing dishes and was going to take the little sink strainer thing out and shake the collected schmutz out into the trash.
I used the foot pedal to open the trash, shook the strainer, and somehow managed to let the lid close again in that split second. Voila:
Something that could only happen to me, Queen Klutz. Yes, that is gook on the wall, too. Nice.
After I did that, I sat down and found a tick on my boob. AAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRGGGG! Remind me to go see the doc if I get a bullseye rash.
Updates:
Thank you so much for all the thoughts and prayers for my sis. You people are *snif* the best. I love you all.
******
I found out that the camp in "Jesus Camp" closed after the release of the film due to bad publicity and vandalism at the camp site. Reading around the internet, I found that most evangelicals seemed to want to distance themselves from this type of camp and the activities promoted there. Most people just aren't that extreme in their beliefs, thank goodness.
*****
I spent a post wanking about my water aerobics instructor the other day, but I have to say that I am feeling and looking better since I began going 3x a week. I sleep better and have more energy and have even lost some weight. So yay for water aerobics. I guess I can put up with BC and her ilk. I will just work on my Bershon face some more.
Jesus Camp
I rented that movie "Jesus Camp" the other day. I thought it would be a look at those quirky fundamentalists and their kids. Instead, I felt like I had lifted up a rock and seen all the scary things squirming beneath.
I couldn't watch the whole thing. It felt like I was watching child abuse, and it got too uncomfortable for me to see.
It is a documentary about a camp in North Dakota where Pentacostals take their children to get indoctrinated to become little robots for religion, and they do it, as Malcolm X said "By any means necessary."
The camp is run by Becky, a woman with a perky hairdo and the same kind of glassy-eyed determination that one might see, say, on an al-Qaeda bomber. In fact, Becky mentions several times that the Muslims can train their kids to go out and blow themselves up, and what are Christian kids doing? Having fun and living like normal peaceful Americans? Why, they need to be willing to die for God, too! She seems envious of fanatical Muslims.
The children in the film are constantly manipulated by the adults in their lives. The adults choreograph dramas that spin into emotional frenzies where the children are told that they are terrible sinners that need to repent, and they do, sobbing until they are almost sick, their little faces twisted in agony.
The kids live in a world where facts aren't important because you can introduce an element of doubt into almost any fact. Beliefs are superior, because if you just believe strongly enough, no one can disprove you. It sounds strange, but in their world, it makes perfect sense.
It was all very, very disturbing to me. Disturbing to see what I consider child abuse practiced in the name of religion. Disturbing to see Jesus' teachings stood on their head and used to promote intolerance and insane behavior. Disturbing to see good little kids being used as pawns in a sick game of "My religion is better than your religion."
I also have a quibble with the filmmaker. I don't know why, but they felt it necessary to cut the Jesus camp scenes with scenes of a moderate radio host talking about the same subjects. It would go from these frenzies at the camp back to this radio host using warm vocal tones in a quiet, dark studio. I think she did it to give the audience some relief from the horror of the camp scenes, but it just ads a feel of bias against the camp people - "And now, here's what reasonable people think." She should have let the camp people hang themselves with their own words and actions and have left it at that.
Anyway, consider yourself warned.
**********
Please send out a prayer or good thought for my sister, Laura, who is in the ICU with pneumonia. She has another health issue that already makes it hard for her to breathe, so this is rough on her. Thank you.
I couldn't watch the whole thing. It felt like I was watching child abuse, and it got too uncomfortable for me to see.
It is a documentary about a camp in North Dakota where Pentacostals take their children to get indoctrinated to become little robots for religion, and they do it, as Malcolm X said "By any means necessary."
The camp is run by Becky, a woman with a perky hairdo and the same kind of glassy-eyed determination that one might see, say, on an al-Qaeda bomber. In fact, Becky mentions several times that the Muslims can train their kids to go out and blow themselves up, and what are Christian kids doing? Having fun and living like normal peaceful Americans? Why, they need to be willing to die for God, too! She seems envious of fanatical Muslims.
The children in the film are constantly manipulated by the adults in their lives. The adults choreograph dramas that spin into emotional frenzies where the children are told that they are terrible sinners that need to repent, and they do, sobbing until they are almost sick, their little faces twisted in agony.
The kids live in a world where facts aren't important because you can introduce an element of doubt into almost any fact. Beliefs are superior, because if you just believe strongly enough, no one can disprove you. It sounds strange, but in their world, it makes perfect sense.
It was all very, very disturbing to me. Disturbing to see what I consider child abuse practiced in the name of religion. Disturbing to see Jesus' teachings stood on their head and used to promote intolerance and insane behavior. Disturbing to see good little kids being used as pawns in a sick game of "My religion is better than your religion."
I also have a quibble with the filmmaker. I don't know why, but they felt it necessary to cut the Jesus camp scenes with scenes of a moderate radio host talking about the same subjects. It would go from these frenzies at the camp back to this radio host using warm vocal tones in a quiet, dark studio. I think she did it to give the audience some relief from the horror of the camp scenes, but it just ads a feel of bias against the camp people - "And now, here's what reasonable people think." She should have let the camp people hang themselves with their own words and actions and have left it at that.
Anyway, consider yourself warned.
**********
Please send out a prayer or good thought for my sister, Laura, who is in the ICU with pneumonia. She has another health issue that already makes it hard for her to breathe, so this is rough on her. Thank you.
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